Yes Sir!
by Pongo0614
Summary: She slipped her arm through his and leant her head on his shoulder. Maybe she wanted to dance but she was here, with Danny. She stopped listening again after a while but laughed when everyone else did. And then she saw him. He made his way through the crowd towards them."Sergeant Pink?" "Yes Sir." That was when she realised that her lover was her boyfriend's officer.
1. Soldiering On

_Hey, I am back._

 _Sorry for the delay, I had hoped to get more written than I actually did and then I just didn't feel like I was ready to come back. But at the moment, I feel like I need a distraction from work to actually get the work done. Believe me, when you are watching 50 odd videos for one subject, writing 100 words plus of a chapter really helps. Doesn't mean I do it quicker but it helps._

 _Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this story. It has been one that I have had in the pipeline for a while now and have wanted to get it out to you._

 _Also I think we need something good after the news last night. I am not ready to watch 12 regenerate._

* * *

 **Soldiering On**

Now there was one thing that Clara knew for sure and that was that her situation wasn't ideal. She knew that it was definitely not right to be lying in the arms of her boyfriend when she was thinking about what her lover was doing in that moment.

There were a few things that she had never expected to happen in her life. The first was that she was going to be tied between two men. The second was that they were both military men.

Clara sighed as she waited for her alarm to go off. She knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep any longer but knew that she wouldn't be able to get out of her boyfriend's arms until the alarm sounded. The minutes seemed to go by slowly.

* * *

"Morning." Danny said as he kissed her on the cheek as he placed her breakfast in front of her.

"You didn't have to make me breakfast." She said.

"I got up the same time as you. I have no reason to be up. So I might as well make sure that you start of the day right."

"It is rather sweet of you." Clara dug into it.

They had meet through a friend of a friend of the family. Danny was a very sweet guy. He was extremely thoughtful and a romantic. Being a Sergeant in the army meant that the time that they had together between tours and training was little and he spent every waking moment making up for the fact that he wasn't there. It didn't worry Clara one bit. She enjoyed the space that they could have.

Danny was … just not someone she would have chosen to go out with. There was nothing to say that he wasn't a good boyfriend just, to her, he seemed like a safe choice for a boyfriend.

She kinda felt obligated to give him a chance when her step-mum kept going on about him and how he was such a nice guy. Now she had been with him for just over two years. There just always felt like there was something missing from their relationship. She just couldn't put her finger on what it was.

Her phone buzzed and she couldn't help but smile at the name that popped up on her phone. She read the text from John inviting her out that night. She felt bad but she sent him one back saying that Danny got home last night and she could see him wanting to spend it with her.

She picked up her plate and placed it by the sink before rising up and giving Danny a kiss on the cheek.

"Sorry got to go to work." She said as she grabbed her bag.

 _Tomorrow night?_ John texted her back.

"Have fun." Danny called after her.

 _We will see._ She replied to him. "Will do." She shouted over her shoulder before she closed the door behind her.

 _Usually place?_

* * *

Clara couldn't help but smile widely as John leant against the wall, halfway on her way to work. He returned it before handing her one of the coffees in his hands. She rose up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"How have you been?" She asked.

"Same old, same old." John replied.

John had been in Clara's life as long as she could remember. He had met her dad at university and they had become good friends, always having each others backs. He joined the army when he was 25 and had risen to the rank of Lieutenant-Colonel. Whenever he wasn't on tour, he used to live with her parents, arguing that there was no point him buying his own place when he would only be there for a few weeks of the year.

He had become Uncle John to her. Someone that she could speak to when she couldn't turn to her parents. That all changed when she gained a weird crush on him when she was 13. She blamed it on a number of things but it became embarrassing to ask him anything or to just be alone with him. She distanced herself from him in some hope that her childish crush would disappear.

The thing was that never happened and they grew closer again when her mum died. He was just someone that she could talk about the good times they shared together who would tell her that he knew it was hard but it would get better. Everything got better with time.

He even saved her when, at her 16th birthday party, her boyfriend-at-the-time tried to pressurise her into having sex with him. She could remember John pulling the guy off her and threatening him before telling him to leave. He had made sure she was alright before he sneaked off back to his room. There was another incident which lead to him moving out and them losing contact.

"Still teaching then? I actually don't know how you do it." John said.

"It isn't actually too bad." Clara said, sipping on her coffee. "It must be like training new recruits."

"God that is the worse part of my job."

She giggled next to him.

They had bumped into each other in London just before she finished university. They had this big catch up where she had said that she was hoping to become a teacher but there was a part of her that wished to travel. John had told her that she didn't need to go into teaching straight away and had taken her on a trip to some of the places that he had found fantasising.

The only problem was that old feelings had returned and they seemed stronger than ever. She was still sure that he would never had told her properly how he felt if it wasn't for some waiter calling her his daughter. She could still hear him say 'Would I do this with my daughter?' before he cupped her face and kissed her.

The thing was, they had been seeing each other ever since. She knew that it wasn't fair on Danny but it wasn't fair on John as well. She had been dating him longer. She just couldn't let her dad know. Not after the incident.

"I have been summoned to the head office. It seems like I am going to be up there all weekend."

She frowned as she looked up at him. "But … I have been looking forward to this weekend. Do you know how long you will up there?"

"I hope just the weekend. We will have to rearrange. Definitely before my next tour though. It was the reason I wanted to take you out for dinner tonight. I wanted to make up for changing your plans last minute."

"Tomorrow. It will give me a little bit of time to think about what to tell Danny."

John sighed.

"I know you don't like me mentioning him."

"It's not that, just … all this creeping around. It just doesn't seem right. Especially with Danny in the picture."

She gave him a kiss on the corner of his mouth as they reached the school gate. "I know, I feel bad as well. I will text you."

Clara knew that John wanted to wrap his arms around her waist and bring her towards him to kiss her properly. She would have loved him just do it. But there was something always holding them back around people they knew. Maybe she was always scared that someone may mention it to Danny.

"I will look forward to it." He replied.

"Thanks for the coffee."

"It was my pleasure."

She smiled at him before turning, walking into the gates of the school. She turned back to see him still staring at her before turning away and going to wherever he needed to be.

She knew that her situation wasn't ideal but she had no idea how to get out of it without hurting someone badly.


	2. Dinner

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Now you wanted more 12/Clara, hopefully this chapter will be sufficient._

* * *

 **Dinner**

Clara had been looking forward to the weekend with John but she knew equally that she would enjoy just having dinner with him. She had brought a new dress especially and she had just been glad that she could wear it.

She shouldn't care but she was really looking forward to the weekend that he had planned. He had told her of his plans and she had been excited for it since he told her about it before he went on tour. 6 months she had been looking forward to it, just to be cancelled.

But having saying that, after 6 months, she was just glad to be back with him. Dinner and a night together would be enough for now. They could always do the weekend another time. Maybe just before he went on tour again.

"I have actually wanted to take you here for a while."

Clara smiled up at him. "Glad you found the opportunity."

"I would have liked the weekend."

"John, I would have loved the weekend but any time I spend with you, I cherish."

He pulled out her chair for her as the waiter stopped at their table and she sat down, taking the menu off the waiter. John ordered them a bottle of wine before the waiter left them.

"So, umm … what did you tell Danny in the end?"

"I said I was meeting up with an old uni friend, who I haven't seen in a while. I also mentioned that they lived on the other side of London and it would be easier for me to stay at theirs." She said as she looked through the menu.

She looked up at him when he hadn't said anything. "What's that look for?" She asked when she saw his smile.

"Oh Clara Oswald, what have I done to you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You never used be good a lying. I have made you a master in lying."

"No more talk of Danny, hey?"

John took his glasses out of his jacket pocket. "So how was your day?"

"I just wished some of the kids would just see how important this year is for them. Half of them are still mucking about and … I just don't want to see them fail and not get the grades they want or need and then end up in some dead end job, probably on a zero hours contract. Is it bad that I care that much?"

"I think I would be worried if you didn't care. You're a great teacher Clara. I am sure they will come around to your way of thinking and then the sky will be their limit. Give it till after Christmas. They will understand the importance of it then."

"I hope your right."

"I am trying the writing thing again."

She looked up at him. "Really? John … what's the plan this time?"

"The plan is to stick to what I know. So it will be army related. Whether it will be historical or not I haven't decided yet. It is just a few ideas at the moment. I wouldn't get too excited."

"You know where I am if you ever need someone to proof read."

"You will be the last person to get your hands on it."

"Please John, I loved the stories you used to tell me. You have such a way with words."

"It is only a few ideas at the moment. It could turn into nothing."

The waiter arrived with the bottle of wine and they ordered their food while he was still there. Clara took a sip of the wine. John could always choose a good bottle.

"This is good. Just got to be careful not to drink too much."

"Oh, yeah, it's a school night."

"I can handle a glass of wine or two."

"I know you can." He cleared his throat. "Umm, hopefully the next time I am off tour, I will be off longer. Hopefully, it will be when you are on holiday as well. We should go travelling together again. Have you ever been to Machu Picchu?"

Clara shook her head. "Want to. Just haven't had the chance."

"Nor have I yet. Hopefully, I will find out when I go up to the head office. There is no one else I would rather go with than you."

"Well I don't think I known no better travelling companion than you."

"We will have to arrange it."

"That will be something to look forward to."

John chuckled. "Knowing our luck, it will probably never happen."

"But we can dream."

"Oh Clara Oswald, we can certainly do that."

* * *

John managed to open the door, walk them both through it and shut it, without breaking the kiss he was sharing with Clara. They parted briefly as they both ran out of breath.

"Is ..." Clara started

"Back on tour." John answered as he backed her up to the wall and continued the kiss.

He may have argued before that he had no need for a flat but when he left Blackpool, he needed somewhere to live. He had entered an agreement with one of his fellow comrades in which they both share a two bed flat but only pay for it when they are there.

"Convenient." She breathed as he moved his kisses from her lips to her neck.

"Unlike Danny." He mumbled. He pulled back to look at her. "I wished I could have more time with you. I wish I could be in his place." He pushed part of her fringe to tuck it behind her ear. "I can't help but be jealous of him."

She placed her hands on his chest. "I know. It isn't ideal. I know I have to make a choice. But I can't help it. I know someone is going to get hurt with my decision. It will probably be myself." She gripped his shirt and pulled him closer. "So forget about Danny. In this moment it is just you and me. We should make the most of any time we do have together."

Clara rejoined their lips together for a short time before pushing him off her to lead him to the bedroom. She was going to make sure that her night was going to end on a high. She didn't care what time she would have to be up in the morning to get to work. She was with John and that what mattered.


	3. Promotion

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _A little bit more of Clara and 12 for you._

* * *

 **Promotion**

A phone call at lunchtime had made Clara excited for the end of the day, and she was teaching Jane Austen for two hours.

John had called her to tell that he was on his way back from the head office and had asked her around so that he could talk to her. His weekend trip had ended up being a week and in that time they hadn't really had the chance to talk much. She had taken that opportunity to try and throw herself a little more into her relationship with Danny but constantly found herself thinking about John wherever there was a silent moment.

Maybe that should have told her the answer to the question she constantly asked herself. John or Danny? Yes, she was seemingly constantly thinking about John but she did enjoy Danny's company. He was a sweet guy.

Clara smiled widely at him as John opened the door to his flat and stood to one side so she could enter. She walked straight in, passed him, and dropped heavily on the sofa, placing her bags next to it. She sighed.

"I definitely need a more comfy chair in my classroom."

"Not turning into an old woman yet I hope." John joked.

She rose up and grabbed his arm pulling him towards the sofa. She kissed him when he had sat down before snuggling into his chest. "No, not yet."

"Good."

She giggled. "I am glad you are back."

"Missed me then?"

"I always miss you when you go."

"I am honoured."

Clara lifted up her head to look at him. "So why were you called up there for?"

John cleared his throat. "Umm, they offered me a promotion."

"Really? So are you a Colonel now then?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, I didn't take it." He said as he got up. "Tea?"

"You didn't take it. Why didn't you take it?"

John pushed a hand through his hair. "I do enough paper pushing without doing it full time. They found away around it as they were sure I would take the promotion. They had already given my men and women away to someone else. They have transferred me to different sub-units. I mean they don't even want me going out any more. I do enjoy going out and facing an enemy. You know the thrill you go when we went skydiving in Australia. I get that every time I go out."

"But going out has it risks."

"I have bounced back so far." He smiled at her before allowing it to drop. "I do understand it from your point of view. I know that you wait for us to come back, worried that every phone call you get might be from the head office to just sigh in relief when it is some cold caller. I understand that. But you also understand that I lead these men and women. I am there to set out a plan of action. I hate … I hate it when I lose one of them."

Clara stood up and stood in front of him, grabbing his hand. "I know. Do you not remember all the nights we sat with a bottle of whisky? It is the only reason I can drink it now. I absolutely hated the drink but it was your favourite and you needed me and kept pouring me a glass."

He lifted one of their joined hands and kissed her knuckles. "Anyway, I have a reason to come back."

"Just make sure you do." She said.

She let go of his hands and started to play with his jumper. She looked up at him before she rose onto her tiptoes and placed her lips on his. His arms automatically came around her and held her in place. This is what she missed. There were times when John was just so gentle, it felt so intimate. It could just be a look or a kiss but there was just something that he would do that would cause her heart to stop.

"Now, Clara Oswald, would you like a cup of tea?" John asked when they parted.

Clara looked over his shoulder at the clock. "I should probably get going."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do. Danny will be waiting for me."

John sighed before letting her go. She cursed herself for saying it.

"It's not fair." She said.

"For whom?"

"For you. For Danny."

"What about you?"

"I got myself into this mess." She took step towards him, closing the gap that he had put between them. "You know that I know I need to make a decision. I know that the longer I leave it, the worst it is going to be. But I need to be sure that the … decision I make, the person I chose … I need to be a hundred percent sure that it is the right choice."

She watched his eyes soften before he pulled her towards him and brought her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and placed her ear against his chest. He placed a kiss into her hair.

"I will accept any decision you make. You know, you only have to tell me to get out of your life and I would."

"That is never going to happen. Not again. You are never leaving my life again. You hear me."

"Yes boss."

She looked up at him and smiled. "I am sorry but I do have to go."

"I wish you could stay longer."

"I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel the same."

"Then stay."

"Danny wants to make up for the fact that he missed our two year anniversary. I have told him not to because it doesn't particularly matter but he wants to. So I have to go home and get out of teacher mode and get ready to sit in a restaurant for a couple of hours when I would rather just snuggle up on the sofa with a glass of wine and find some rubbish to watch on TV."

John smiled down at her. "That sounds like a good evening."

"So I better get going so that I can sit on the sofa for a bit before I have to make myself up.

"You don't have to make yourself up."

She gave him a quick kiss. "You are such a charmer." She moved to pick up her bags. "Text me." She threw over her shoulder.

"I will." John shouted after her as he was left alone in his flat.


	4. John's Weekend

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Time has passed from the last chapter and this chapter._

* * *

 **John's Weekend**

"I know that they are all places that we have been before but we haven't visited them in a while. It will be nice, won't it?" Danny said.

Clara just nodded and hummed in agreement. She had kinda lost interest as he started to explain the week that he had planned for them.

The time that Danny and John were away felt like it was forever but when they were back, it only felt like a couple of weeks before they started talking about going back to the front line or going on some training course thing. Clara will admit that she did lose interest after a while. She just wanted them both back with her or at least one off tour while the other one was on.

John was the one to reassure her that he wouldn't be gone for long. He said that he was only on a training course so would only be two months. Danny on the other hand had no idea how long he was going to be. Part of Clara hoped that that meant that John would be back before Danny so that she could spend some time with him before Danny got back.

The more she thought about it, the more she hated herself for not making a decision sooner. Everything had worked out when they came back at different times. There were the odd occasion when they would overlap, Danny coming back a few weeks before John went off and vice versa. It was probably the reason she hadn't made a choice. She could have both, not at the same time.

Her phone buzzed and she picked it up off the table, opening the text.

 _What are you doing on Sunday before I go? J_

Clara looked up at Danny.

 _With Danny. He has a week planned. Could try and get you the weekend. X_

"I mean it is great that you are on holiday as well. It does mean we have the whole week. Clara? Clara?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, sorry. It does sound good." She said, feeling a little guilty for not listening to him properly.

"Do you still get nervous about their results?"

 _Too late am I? Don't worry. I understand. I'll be quicker next time._

"Yes I do. I want each of them to get what they want and expect. I feel really bad for them if they miss out on a grade by a couple of marks. I had one girl last year who missed out on the government's pass of a C by two marks. I was devastated for her and told her that she could get it remarked, hoping that she would get the two marks and not have to be with me for full year. They gave her one more mark. Would it have really hurt them just to give her the extra mark?"

Danny chuckled. "I suppose not."

She sighed and smiled at him.

 _Free this weekend? X_

"I know you are going away again but I have just had a text from an old friend and they are in London and really wants to catch up. You don't mind if I go and meet up with them. I will probably end up staying the whole weekend with them because we will have a lot to catch up on."

 _Yes, why?_

"Sure. Clara you can see you friends without my consent."

 _This weekend. You and me. All weekend. X_

"I know. I just want to check."

* * *

Clara turned to John, giving him a big smile as she realised where they were going.

"Don't get too excited." He said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"We haven't been here for a while."

"I thought you would still go with your dad."

"We stopped going after you left."

"So the last time you have been here was three years ago when I took you?" John asked as he pulled up into the driveway of the cottage.

"Yeah, but I doubt it would be the same without you." Clara said when he turned to her. "I mean … it does hold a lot of memories for me."

"Like the first time you kissed me." He chuckled. "If Dave only knew what happened before." He opened the door and got out the car.

"I was so glad that he went out that night." She said after she had copied his action.

"No more talk of Dave." John commented.

"And no talk of Danny." Clara added. "This weekend is just me and you."

She could see how wide his smile was as he walked up to the cottage and opened the door, letting them into the property. He had already got their bags out of the car and dropped them by the door before placing the keys on the small table in the hallway.

Clara could remember every holiday that she spent in that cottage. It wasn't anything fancy but they could go out and do things in the closest town or just spend a day reading or doing very little in the garden.

After John stopped her boyfriend but before he left, she had tried to see whether there was anyway that he could feel the same about her. Her dad had gone out for some reason and her and John just got talking before she leant in and kissed him. He had pushed her off of him before trying to explain that she was drunk and wasn't thinking straight. She was thinking straight and had almost blurted out what she felt for him. Instead she just grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her room, trying to show him that she did.

It was the first of the many times she had tried to get him to sleep with her that ended up with her just wrapping herself around him, her head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat.

John pulled her closer to him, bring her from her thoughts.

"We have two options. We could go into town and have a nice night out or we could just spend the whole weekend here."

"I like the sound of the whole weekend here."

"Good." John said, giving her a quick kiss. He started to pull her down the hall. "I need to jog my memory of your body." He stopped and pulled her closer to him. "You know, for the night where I feel a little lonely."

She reached up and pulled him down to kiss her. Part of her wanted him just to rip off her clothes right there and then and just take her against the wall. She craved him. It was just something that happened when she was around him. It was like it was only them in the world.

She groaned when he pulled back and opened his mouth.

"Shut up. Too much talking." She said as she pushed him back closer to one of the bedrooms.

"I was only going to make sure you are still on the pill."

"You always ask me that and I always say yes. But then you use a condom anyway." She stopped outside the closest bedroom. "Now shut up and make this night something I can remember when I am lonely."

"Yes boss." John said before bring her closer to him again.


	5. Danny's Week

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So what does Danny have planned?_

* * *

 **Danny's Week**

She really wanted to enjoy the week. She wanted it to be just her and Danny as the weekend was just her and John. It wasn't like John was texting her constantly but it was the fact that she couldn't get her mind off the weekend. It was mainly every time they had a silent moment. So she tried to talk as much as possible.

Even though they were places and sights that they had seen before, she found it sweet that Danny had made this plan. He kept reminding her of what happened when they were at the place and she would scold herself for thinking about John.

It was Danny's week. This week was all about the time she spent with Danny.

* * *

"I am glad that it hasn't rained as they said it would."

"No it is a brilliant day."

"Clara, we aren't doing much."

She quickly turned over the corner of the page she was on before closing her book. She was lying with her head in his lap while taking in the summer sun.

"We don't always have to be doing stuff. I am relaxing in the sun with a good book and my boyfriend."

"I just feel like I am wasting a day."

"That is because you always feel like you need to be doing something." She giggled. "I don't need to be doing something."

He gave her a small smile.

"You do know that just being in your company is enough." She said.

"I just …" Danny sighed. "I feel like I am missing out on so much when I am away."

"You're really not. Life still goes on. I just come home to an empty flat." Clara sat up and turned to face him. "I do understand it from your point of view but you don't have to make up for the months that you aren't here."

She leant forward and gave him a peck on the lips.

* * *

Danny gently kiss her shoulder. Clara closed her eyes committing it to memory. It was just something she did. She knew that playing them both wasn't right but she did enjoy the time that she had with them.

"What would you say if I left the army?"

Clara opened her eyes before turning in his arms. "I thought you loved the army." She said, shocked.

If there was one thing she knew that she wouldn't ask of either of them, and that was to leave the army. There were times where she wanted to be selfish and have them at home with her all the time but she knew that John wouldn't be able to sit still for long and they both loved it, even though they saw some horrific things. The brother-in-arms camaraderie was the only thing they kept on about. The men and woman they they surrounded themselves with and fought beside.

He smiled at her before kissing her nose. "I do. I just … hate leaving you. I am scared that one day I might not make it back. I could retrain. I am sure there are loads of jobs that will take me."

"But it wouldn't be what you want to do. Danny, I hear you tell stories to people with such pride for what you do, it makes me proud and honoured to be your girlfriend. I know how you feel. I am scared that every time my phone rings, that it might be the head office, telling me that something has happened to you." She said, repeating the words that John had said to her. "Anyway, I know you will come back because you will always have something to fight for to come home."

"Really?" He asked before rising above her. "What is that then?"

"You'll have to make your own mind up about that."

His eyes trailed down her face and her naked body that wasn't covered by the duvet. He leant down and kissed her forehead before joining their lips together. She felt her back arch into the kiss.

They broke from the kiss and Danny placed his forehead against hers. "As long as you are in my life, I will always have a reason to fight."

* * *

Clara had already said her goodbye to Danny but hoped that she could catch John just before he left. She had asked one of the Lieutenants where he could be and they pointed in the direction of his office. He even offered to take her there but she kindly declined.

She smiled as she saw him through the window and gently knocked on the door.

"I said that I was to be left alone. I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in." He shouted with his back to the door.

Clara opened the door anyway. "It was only going to be quick."

He spun around quickly with a look of surprise on his face. "Clara." He sighed.

"I was just hoping to catch you to just say a quick goodbye. I don't get the chance to ever see you off but I do this time."

John smiled at her before looking at the state of his office. "I am sorry about the mess."

She giggled before she leant against on of his cabinets. "John, I know that you are messy. I also know that you have a cleaner so that your flat is tidy."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"I can leave if you need to get on."

He walked over to her. "I have a few minutes to spare."

"Good." She said before rising up on her tiptoes and kissing him. "Oh my stars, I forgot how handsome you looked in your uniform."

"You do seem to have a thing for men in uniform."

"Yeah, I do." She cupped his face and gave him another kiss. "I will leave you to get on. Have fun. Come back to me."

"I will." John said with a smirk.

"John Smith, stop undressing me with your eyes." She said, gently pushing him away. "Maybe I should tell you to be good."

"Me? Good? Never."

"Remember to call me."

Clara bit her lips as she left John. There was one thing that she could do while they were both gone. She could think about which one she wanted more by which one she missed the most.


	6. Boredom

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _I have now finished writing this so I will be updating more often._

 _So with them both away, will Clara be able to make her decision?_

* * *

 **Boredom**

Part of her wondered whether she would ever make a decision between them. With them both gone for a long period of time, she thought that it would make her decision a little easier. If anything, it made her more frustrated.

The summer holidays were coming to the end but she had spent the last week bored out of her mind. She had told Danny that she didn't need to be doing something but the flat that they lived in, just felt so quiet without him. She had spent the last few days with the radio playing from the moment she woke up to just before she went to bed.

It didn't help that she hadn't really left the flat to do anything other than food shopping. It didn't help that she didn't really have any other reason to leave the flat.

John's training course was now going to be longer than he expected, double the time, and then Danny had called to say that he would be away for four months as well. They were both going to be back just before her birthday, just her luck.

They had only been gone three weeks. This should be the time where she could make a decision, not mope about and be missing both of them equally. She still had a long time before they came back but she just felt like she could be more productive in the time that she had to herself.

Clara was glad to be going back to work soon. She could at least talk to Adrian about it. He was some else that was on at her to make a decision. She just hated thinking about the situation that she was in. Mainly because she knew that in some way, she loved both of them and she was scared of losing both of them. She felt bad for Danny because he was the one that she called her boyfriend and she was basically cheating on him. But she felt so strongly for John and, she would only admit to herself, she felt like her life was complete when they met again and he re-entered her life.

She had never jumped off the sofa as fast as she did when her phone rang. She answered it straight away, not looking at who was calling her.

"Hello."

" _Hey."_

Clara smiled as John voice came through. "You managed to have some free time to phone."

" _Christ Clara, it has been mayhem. That is the only word I can come up with. I would like to say organised chaos but it isn't even organised."_

"That bad?" She said as she dropped back down on the sofa.

" _Believe me, it is. They have even requested that everyone takes their R &R."_

"You don't usually."

" _Well I am this time around. We don't usually get it for small ones like this. Do you know when Danny has his?"_

"He is coming home on 21st October and leaving again on 25th. He wanted to have it in line with the half term but something about the four week rule means that he will have to be back there for 26th. I will admit, that was when I stopped listening as he explained it. I just need to know when he was back so I know when I need to pick him up."

John chuckled down the phone. _"Do you turn off when I am talking?"_

"Some times. You do it to me as well. I know when you are thinking about other things."

" _Guilty as charged."_ He paused for a moment. _"I will book mine off earlier. Maybe something like the end of September."_

"Let me know what date and then I can come and pick you up if I am not at work."

John didn't say anything for a while. _"I can't tell you how great it is just to hear your voice."_

Clara smiled to herself. "It is exactly the same for me as well."

" _I wish that we could talk more."_

"Have you got to get going then?"

" _I can hear them calling me now. They are a bunch of idiots."_

She allowed herself to laugh at him. "Just let me know those dates, okay?"

" _Yeah, I will let you know."_

The line went dead without a goodbye. Clara knew that he hated goodbyes. She couldn't actually remember the last time she had said an actually goodbye to him using the word. It was like every conversation they had would be picked up again. Maybe it was just his way. If he didn't say goodbye, then it meant that they were going to see each other again.

* * *

"Morning Clara." Adrian said as they met each other in the hallway.

"We are back again." She said.

"It goes slowly but at the same time it seems like it goes quickly."

"I get what you mean. The last few days have just flew by. I felt so bored about a week ago. It probably didn't help that they are both back on tour."

He turned to her as they made their way to the staff room.

"They are both back on tour at the same time already. I thought that they only came off just after Easter."

"It is some training course, exercise thingy. I didn't really pay any attention as to what they were actually going to go off and do. It has been just over a month, so they will both be back at the end of November. John has his R&R at the end of September and Danny has his at the end of October so I have something to look forward to."

"Still not made a decision?"

"It is on the to do list for when they are both away." She sighed. "I thought that with them both being away, it would make my decision easier. I just miss them both so much which doesn't help me at all."

"Did you think that you would miss one more then?"

"I guess it was just wishful thinking."

Adrian smiled down at her. "One day you will work it out."

"And then it will probably be too late."


	7. The Invitations

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **The Invitations**

"Clara?"

"Danny?" She said as she looked under the sofa for an essay that had gone missing. She knew that she had it last night when she was marking but when she checked this morning that they were all there, she found she was one short.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up at him. "May have lost an essay. I suppose it serves me right for marking them last minute."

He started to chuckle at her.

"You could help me rather than laugh at my misfortune."

Clara watched him as he went into the kitchen, to return with the essay, holding it up.

"Looking for this."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." She said as she took it off him.

"Clara?"

"Yes?" She said.

"There is a Christmas ball on 10th December. It is part of the barracks and it is just a bit of fun. Would you like to come with me?"

"Yeah, Why wouldn't I?" She replied. "I had hope that I would find a reason to wear a dress that I brought when you were away. It seems like the perfect reason." She smiled up at him.

"It is nothing special. I mean, it is nothing to buy a new dress for. You know, you could wear a bin bag and you would probably be the most beautiful person in the room."

Clara felt her smile widen. "I can promise you that I won't wear a bin bag. Anyway the dress wasn't that expensive, I was just trying to pass the time when you were gone."

"You missed me then."

"Of course." She said before she gave him a quick kiss. "And I am going to be late for work at this rate." She stuffed the last essay into her bag before she threw a smile over her shoulder and a small wave.

Danny stood there and gave her a small wave back before sighing and wondering what he was going to do with his day until she got back.

* * *

Clara stopped as she exited the school to see John leaning against the wall by the gates. He pushed himself off it when he saw her and gave her a goofy smile. Even though Danny had been back for a week, there were still a few things that John had to sort out before he could come back home. It had been the first time she had seen him since September.

She walked towards him before giving him a wide smile and a hug. He tensed, even though he was expecting it. It was just a reaction he gave. 'Not a hugging person' he used to moan whenever she would give him one out of the blue.

"I've missed you." She told him.

"I would hope that you did."

Clara looked up at him. "Come on. It will be dark soon."

"Which is why I thought I would take it upon myself to walk you as far as I can." He held his arm out to her. "Not that I don't think you can look after yourself but a six foot Scottish man should just put them off enough."

She laughed at him as she placed her arm through his, holding onto his elbow. "How did it go?"

"Clara it was a nightmare. I swear the only thing I taught them was to hold a gun properly, and that was my own men. I have been put with a load of … pudding brains."

She laughed at him again. "Pudding brains?"

"Well, idiots was a too nicer term. They are worse than being a group of idiots."

"I am sure that you can whip them into shape."

"Or they are trying to get me to take the promotion or worse, retire." He turned to her. "What are you doing on 10th December?"

"The Christmas Ball?"

"He has already asked you."

"Danny asked me this morning. Sorry."

"Not to worry. You know what I am like during social events. I hate them. I was only trying to find a reason to go. It is nothing. I am sure I can still have a nice night with a takeaway and a cheap bottle of wine. I am sure there will be some rubbish on the TV that I could watch."

"I would still be there. It wouldn't be ideal at all but I would still be there."

"Nah, I would only be mopping in some corner. It is best that I don't go."

Clara pulled herself closer to him. "You are the mopping type."

"Class A mopper. It is because I am the King of Okay."

"That isn't the best thing to be the king of."

"I know."

Their pace slowed as they reached the block of flats that her flat was situated in. Both of them looked up at it.

"Well I am home, safe and sound." She looked at him. "Thanks to a six foot Scot."

"I would hate myself if something ever happened to you, Clara Oswald. I missed you."

"Don't worry old man, I am not going anywhere."

He gave her a smile but they both knew what it mean. It mean that she knew that she couldn't promise that. Maybe it was another reason why she hadn't made her decision. She was scared that John would leave her life again if she choose Danny or would help her choose Danny by leaving if she choose him. She never wanted him to leave her life again.

"Thank you." She rose up onto her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before walking off to her flat.

Clara was thankful for the warmth hitting her as she entered the building. She took the stairs instead of the lift to help her warm up a little more. She stopped halfway to see John still standing there, looking up at the building. She gave him a small wave, which he returned.

Maybe there was part of her that thought that it should be him who she comes home to or runs in from the cold from or spends the days lazing about in the sun with. But then there was another part of her that always enjoyed it when she was sharing those moments with Danny.

No, she was no closer to making her choice.


	8. Christmas Ball

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So on with the ball and something that you might recognise_

* * *

 **Christmas Ball**

"I better start getting ready." Clara stated as she closed her laptop.

"Clara, it isn't going to take you an hour and a half to get ready."

"No, but we both need showers and I kinda just want to be in there for a while. But I still haven't decided how I am going to have my make up or hair. So no in theory is shouldn't take me an hour and a half to get ready but it will, you watch." She started to walk down the corridor to the bathroom before she turned around quickly, running back to the lounge. "Anyway, you can never have too much time to get ready."

She could hear Danny's laughter even after she had closed the bathroom door. She just shock her head as she undressed and stepped into the shower. She tried to make her mind go blank, allowing the water to take away the stresses of that week.

Her mind wondered to John and whether he would turn up tonight. Part of her wanted him to. It had been so busy recently that she hadn't had the chance to meet up with him. She just wanted to see him, even if they couldn't be seen to be together.

She sighed as she washed the last of the conditioner out of her hair. She was sure this would all sort itself out in the end. One day she will know which one she wanted more. Just, that day wasn't going to be soon.

"I'm out." Clara shouted as she left the bathroom and entered their bedroom.

She heard Danny shout okay and a few moments later, she heard the shower go on again.

She put on her dress before placing her dressing gown over the top, making sure that she didn't ruin it with her make-up. She was debating about her hair when Danny joined her.

"Up or down." She asked when she saw him in the mirror.

"Sorry?"

"My hair, up or down."

"Whatever you feel comfortable in."

She caught herself from groaning. Danny was as bad as her at making a decision. Just the ones she gave him wasn't as big as the one she had to make.

She wanted him to make a decision because that is how he liked it. Her hand reached straight for her phone and she texted John the same question. She did wonder why she did. He wouldn't be there to see her. He replied back within minutes

 _Up. Exactly like you did when you had your prom. You look absolutely beautiful that night._

Clara did have to stop the smile that was making its way on her face. She got out the grips and pins she would require before she attempted to recreate what she did when she was 16. She could see Danny watching her in the mirror.

"You decided up then."

"Yeah, thought I would try something that I did the last time I went to a ball. I call it a ball, it was prom."

Danny laughed. "I suppose when you are 16 and 18, it feels like a ball."

"It does." She looked at herself in mirror one last time before taking off her dressing gown. "Right, all ready. The taxi shouldn't be too long now."

"No it shouldn't. You look beautiful."

Clara smiled up at him. "Thank you. You are reminding me why I fell for you in the first place. I love a guy in a uniform."

"Come on." Danny said, walking out of the room.

She sighed before leaving too.

* * *

The manor house was absolutely stunning. Clara made sure to grab one of the leaflets as she was going to go back there. She needed a proper look around it. Unfortunately, for tonight, most of it was closed off. They entered the drawing room and Danny ordered them drinks before they joined the rest of his comrades. He introduced her to them all.

She started to have a conversation with one of the wives when she thought she saw John. She raised on her tiptoes to see if she could get a better look to see if it was him but if it was him, he had gone from view. Clara sighed. It was probably because she wanted to see him.

They stayed with the same group of people, which Clara didn't mind. She enjoyed watching Danny laugh and joke with his friends, brothers. She could hear the music coming from the other room and she hoped that Danny would ask her to dance.

A few more drinks later and Clara knew that he wasn't. She asked him to hold her drink, telling him that she would be back in a minute. She wondered down the halls as she went off to find the toilets. It wasn't that they were bad company, but Clara wished that they weren't just going to stand there talking all night. The music was really making her want to dance.

Danny was still in the exact same spot, talking to the same group of people when she returned. She made her way through the crowd of people back to them.

"Alright?" He said when she joined them again.

"Yeah, just got a little lost." She took the glass of wine off of him. "This place is so beautiful. We need to come back here."

"You are off in a few weeks time. I am sure we can visit one day before Christmas."

Clara smiled. "Well I don't think I have anything planned."

"We will come back when you have broken up for Christmas then."

She slipped her arm through his and leant her head on his shoulder. Maybe she wanted to dance but she was here, with Danny. The conversation moved on to their commander and how demanding he was and that he had told them all that he didn't know how they got into the army. She stopped listening after a while but laughed when everyone else did.

And then she saw him. He made his way through the crowd and the group that she was with started to quieten down.

"Sergeant Pink?"

"Yes Sir."

That was when she realised that her lover was her boyfriend's officer.


	9. Introductions

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Shall we see how this goes?_

* * *

 **Introductions**

"Yes Sir." Danny said.

"There was no need to quieten down on my behalf." John said. "I thought I would just come over and make sure you were having a good time."

Clara bit her lip to hid her smile. This was why she had fallen for John.

"Of course not." Danny cleared his throat. "Doctor, this is my girlfriend ..."

"Clara Oswald." John said.

"John." She said. "I am surprised to see you here. How have you been?"

"Good." He leant forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "How is your dad?"

"He is fine."

Danny cleared his throat next to her. "You two know each other."

"John used to live with me and my parents when he wasn't on tour. Him and my dad were friends in university and my dad said that there was always a room for him. John took that as he could basically live with us."

"Saved me buying a flat that would be unoccupied for a few months a year." John smiled at her. "Anyway Dave is a nice guy, Ellie would always make sure I was fed, baking something sweet everyday, and I became a free babysitter whenever they wanted to go out."

"So you blame my mum for your sweet tooth." Clara said.

"No it just fuelled it." John cleared his throat. "Dave and I had a little … disagreement. We haven't seen each other since that day."

"It is good to see you again."

John looked at their glasses. "How about I buy you a drink?"

Clara looked at their glasses as well. "Sure. I'll go with you. We know how forgetful you are."

Danny was a bit confused about what had just happened. He opened his mouth to say something to Clara but she had already taken his empty glass from his hand. He shook his head before turning back to his comrades. "I promise you I didn't know." He commented.

John ignored what Danny had said. "I'm not forgetful. I just get distracted."

"Right." Clara said, as she followed him through the crowd, towards the bar. "I thought you said that you would be here."

John turned back to look at her. "I know. Head office wouldn't let me get out of it. Apparently because of the rank I am, it is unacceptable that I keep missing events like this one."

"I am glad you are here."

They reached the bar and Clara could finally have a good look at him in his uniform. She had told Danny that it was the reason she fell for him but it was this man that made the uniform look so good.

"I didn't realise that Danny was in my regiment. He is Rupert there."

"I didn't realise that you were the Doctor. I suppose I should have really listen closely enough to what Danny has said about you and I probably would have known." Clara sighed. "I would have told you if I had known."

"What?" He dropped his head down before whispering in her ear. "That your lover is your boyfriends officer."

She gave him a smile as he raised back up, the bartender finally coming to them to order drinks. John rattled off what he wanted before turning to Clara to order what she and Danny wanted.

"You won't … go harder on him because of it, will you?"

"The man I am jealous of? I will try not to, for you."

"You're jealous of him?"

John's eyes flicked to her. "Of course I am jealous." He sighed. "Maybe I shouldn't have come over. I only came over because you looked bored standing there."

"Thank you."

"I will come and steal your for a dance later." He turned to her. "Don't think I am blind like him not to notice that every time a new song comes on, you look towards the direction of the music."

"I didn't know that you could dance."

"Whenever I used to come to events like these, I used to bring your parents. Dave wasn't much of a dancer, you know that. Ellie, on the other hand, was a bit like you, always itching to dance. Dave would, somehow, always refuse her but I couldn't. I have learnt a lot from your mother. Then she died and Dave threw me out because of what happened and then … these events weren't fun when you have no one to bring alone."

John turned to Clara when she didn't say anything and gave her a kiss on her forehead when he saw her expression.

"I suppose I will have to be Uncle John for the night."

"You don't have to be. Danny can just know you as John."

"You can call me whatever you want."

Clara leant over and whispered. "Well, I have a new one for the bedroom now, Doctor."

* * *

John kept to what he said and after another half an hour of listening to Danny and his comrades, he asked her to dance with him. Clara turned to Danny just to make sure it was okay with him before taking his hand, leading her to where she wanted to go hours ago.

"I would never have expected you to dance this well." Clara commented after a while.

"I think we have already had this conversation."

She laughed at him. "I know. I just didn't expect you to have as much grace as you do."

"Do you think he minds me taking you away?"

"I don't know. He doesn't know who you really are to me."

"What's that?"

"My first crush and love." She looked up at him when he hadn't said anything. "What?"

"You always told me that pudding brain of a boyfriend was your first love."

Clara was taken aback by his response. "That was when I was going out with him and I thought I knew what love was."

"What about Nina?"

"Nina was the first girl I had a crush on."

"I swear that there was some male celebrity before that."

"John."

He sighed. "You know what I am going to say."

"And in this day and age, you can be with whoever you like as long as your are both consenting adults."

John opened his mouth before closing it again.

"John?"

"Clara, you know that I would give or do anything for you." He paused for a moment. "You need a man like Danny. You need someone that will definitely be able to give you everything you want."

"What makes you think you can't?"

"I am an old man Clara. There is no point denying that."

"I have never denied it."

"There might just be certain things in the future that you want that I might not be able to give you. I never want to disappoint you."

"And you never will. John..." She laughed. "John, don't presume what I want out of life. I know what you are trying to do. You have despised Danny since I started going out with him and now … John, don't make my decision for me. Please. Promise me you won't make my decision for me."

The look he gave her knew that he didn't want to. "I promise."


	10. Thinking

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So Danny and John know each other now, how will that change things?_

* * *

 **Thinking**

Since the ball, Clara had been thinking about quite a few things. It had been a few weeks now, and not that she was complaining, she had seen a lot more of John. It was the main thing that she had been thinking about. Why was Danny so set on getting to know John?

She wasn't complaining. Just curious.

It was just one of these times when she was in the kitchen, waiting for the tea just to finishing brewing, watching them talk. Her boyfriend and her lover. It was just weird to get her head around. If Danny knew who John was to her and the reason he had never been mentioned, he wouldn't be this friendly with him.

Clara turned back to the mugs and poured out the tea before she joined the boys. The boys? Her boys.

She handed them their cups of tea before dropping down on the sofa next to Danny.

"We are going up to Blackpool soon." Danny mentioned.

Clara chanted in her head for him not to invite John.

"Maybe you should join us." He finished.

John's eyes flicked his eyes to her and she shook her head. If anything, she knew her dad was still not over what happened or would have forgiven him.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." John said. "I know that the Oswald's are very stubborn people. You should know going out with one. She is a control freak."

"I am not a control freak." Clara said through her teeth.

"Anyway, they are stubborn and hold grudges. I don't think that Dave has got over it."

Danny chuckled. "Dave is one of the nicest people I know. He has always been someone that everyone got on with. What did you do for him to fall out with you?"

John's eyes flick over to Clara. "It was a misunderstanding. A big misunderstanding."

"About what?"

"We just didn't see eye to eye on something and … more he wouldn't let me give my explantation as to what he had misunderstood."

"He must be over it now."

Clara was so glad that Danny was facing John. She shook her head at him and mouthed 'definitely not over it' to him. She could see John trying not to laugh. Of course it was hilarious for him. He didn't have to deal with the lecture she had afterwards.

"I really don't think so. Anyway, I am quite busy with work at the moment. Got a lot to do. Mainly paperwork. You wouldn't believe how much paperwork I actually have to do."

* * *

"Maybe it's not so bad Danny knowing you. It makes this easier." Clara said as they sat down at their table. "I can tell him that I am meeting up with you and he wouldn't expect a thing."

"Not that he knows of my true intentions." John leant on the table. "Why is he so keen to get to know me?"

"It is something I have been asking myself."

"Because if he really knew about us, he would want to get to know me. He would be beating the living daylights out of me."

"Danny's too gentle to do that." She said, picking up the menu.

John copied her. "Believe me. Danny is more violent that you think. He just doesn't need to be violent around you. If he was, I would be beating the living daylights out of him." He looked over the menu at her. "I am his officer. I know what he is capable of."

"I am sure he is capable of exactly the same as you." She put the menu back down. "He asked me what would I say if he left the army."

"What did you say?"

"What you said when you came back after your promotion. That you always had something to come back to. I don't want to take either of you away from what you love to do. It has it dangers but I know you both love doing what you do. I would never take you away from that."

John smiled at her. "I know that. And I am sure he does too."

Clara smiled at him as well. "Maybe now I also feel a little bad for him. Because he doesn't know actually what you are to me. He is getting to know my lover as if he was my uncle."

"I was at one point Uncle John to you."

"I was young and that was what my parents started to call you."

"I didn't mind. I actually thought I was rather good at it."

"Well you have always been better with children than adults. You have never really grown up."

"Why be boring and grow up? I always wanted to have adventures. I have a job that allows me to have them, of a fashion."

"Why be boring and grow up?" She whispered.

He smiled at her again. "Look, I will do everything to get out of Danny's unhelpful offer of going to Blackpool with you."

"He hasn't got over it."

"I don't think I would if I found my oldest friend in bed with my daughter. He had ever right to be mad at me."

"You should have waited around to hear the lecture he gave me. It was like I was eight, not 18. Whether you had do it before? What had happened? How stupid I had been? How I could have told him? He didn't particularly like when I said that it was me that got you into my bed and how you had been a gentleman and how even you still had all your clothes on."

He chuckled. "See, you Oswald's are stubborn."

"There is nothing being wrong with stubborn."

"Well I am never going to be able to leave you again, am I?"

"Of course not. John Smith, you leave me again and I will spend the rest of my life hunting you down."

"I am sure you would."

They smiled at each other just to be interrupted by the waiter. "Are you ready to order now?" He asked politely.

Clara glanced over the menu as John ordered them a bottle of wine. She hadn't really taken it in the first time she looked at I. Why Danny wanted to know John was probably harmless. John had just been big in her life. Why wouldn't her boyfriend want to know about someone big in her life?


	11. The Getaway

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Will John get out of going to Blackpool?_

* * *

 **The Getaway**

"I thought you said that you would do everything to get out of Danny's unhelpful offer of going to Blackpool with us." Clara muttered when they were alone.

Danny had gone off to get a few things as they waited in Preston for their next train. Clara had hoped that John would get out of it. As much as she loved being around him, she knew the arguments that would happen because of John's presence.

"I am not joking. Everyone kept ratting me out."

"I am sure you could have thought of something."

"Clara it really can't be that bad. It was about 10 years ago."

She looked at him. "I casually mentioned that I had seen you the last time I went up to Blackpool on my own. My dad told me that he didn't care and that I hoped that Danny hadn't met you. That was in the summer last year."

"So about six months ago?"

"So about six months ago." She repeated. "Plus I don't even think that he has said your name since you left."

"And you are sure Danny doesn't know? Even if he doesn't know that it was me."

"No, I don't think my dad would bring up the thing that he was most disappointed with me for."

"Look, if Dave asks me to leave, I will just leave. It will save all the arguments."

Clara opened her mouth when Danny rejoined them.

"They've called our train. We better get on it."

John picked up his suitcase and sighed at her. They both knew that it would be a long weekend whatever happened.

* * *

Clara bit at the skin around her thumb. This weekend was not going to go to plan. It was going to end awfully. Her dad wasn't going to allow John in or if he did, which was a big if, she was sure that he would huff at anything that he would say.

"I don't understand why you are so nervous. It will be fine." Danny said.

She felt like saying he didn't understand because he didn't know what had happened. She knew that it was the worst idea ever. Not only did she have to put up with Linda, there was the likelihood that she would have to put up with her dad being an idiot because John was there.

Oh how she loved coming home.

The taxi pulled up outside the house and she took a deep breath before she got out. Before she knew it, the front door was open and her dad had come out to greet them.

"Danny, I am so glad you could make it."

"Yes, no training course this time." Danny replied.

Clara gave him a wave and a smile before she went to the boot to help John.

"Do you think he has noticed me?" John whispered

"No." She whispered back.

"Good. Do you think I could just get back into the taxi?"

"Maybe.

"Leave before he can tell me to leave."

"I told you it wasn't a good idea to come."

"Danny insisted." He hissed.

"You're his officer."

"John?" Linda said.

They looked at each other and Clara was sure that his heart stopped at the same time hers did. He had been seen. There was no way he could just get back in the taxi now. He sighed before he stood up straight. Clara watched as he walked up to Linda.

"Linda. It's good to see you again."

"Likewise. I haven't seen in such a long time. What it must be about ten years mustn't it? You used to stay at Dave's all the time."

"Aye, it has been long but it hasn't been that long has it?" He looked between Linda and Dave. "Ah, you're the lucky lass that married Dave."

John watched as Dave's eyes flicked to Clara.

"How did you know I got remarried?" Dave questioned.

"Through the grapevine."

Clara closed her eyes and sighed. He just had to not let on that she had being seeing him longer than just before Christmas. All he had to do was let on that they had talked about it since Danny knew that John had been close to Clara.

Although, really what he gave away didn't indicate anything but she knew her dad would try and find any reason to not allow John to stay. She could tell that he wanted to ask John why here was here. The words were on the tip of his tongue. He wondered why he didn't just come out with it.

Then she realised why. Linda didn't know what happened. Danny didn't know what happened. Asking why he was here would be like confirming that something went wrong.

Clara wanted to laugh. John had said that they were stubborn. It was their pride that kept them stubborn. Her dad's pride was stopping him from asking why his oldest friend, who he hadn't seen in ten years, was standing on his doorstep, because he didn't want to confirm that they did argue about something.

"Word?" Dave asked before entering his house again.

John looked back at Clara and pulled her a face before smiling sweetly at Linda and following Dave.

"What did John do? Your dad just looked like he was going to punch him." Danny asked as he helped her get their bags out of the back.

Clara's eyes flick to Linda. There had obviously been rumours as to why John left. The friends that her parent's and John had gained over the years, had become a tight nit group. She would have probably at one point all thought of them as the aunts and uncles she never had.

Of course there were rumours as to why John and her dad had fallen out. But how close did the rumours come to the truth?

"You will be okay getting the bags, won't you?" She said to Danny.

Linda caught Clara's eye as she entered the house. Maybe her coming to John's defence would confirm the worst of the rumours but she needed to stick up for him. She didn't the first time. She needed to this time.


	12. My Fault

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Will Dave make John leave?_

* * *

 **My Fault**

The last thing that Clara wanted was Linda following her as she walked through the house to find her dad and John.

"He has aged well hasn't he?"

Clara just tried to ignore her as she stood in the hallway, trying to hear her dad's voice.

"He was always a handsome man. May have had a small crush on him in my youth. He was always rather good with the ladies."

She wished Linda would just shut up as she reached the study and placed her ear against the door. She could hear their muffled voices but wished she could hear what they were actually saying.

"I am surprised that he has come back. From what I heard, Dave pretty much told John to leave and to never come back."

Clara rolled her eyes before she opened the door and entered the room. She could hear her dad's voice getting louder.

"Get out." Dave shouted at her.

"Why? So that you can throw John out again without a proper explanation?"

"This is none of your business."

"I am an adult now dad. Not a child. And I do think that this is my business."

John bit his lip to stop himself from smiling.

Dave pointed his finger at John. "I blame you for that."

John looked over at Clara and smiled. Her dad was right. He was the main source of her confidence.

"Go on then. Explain." Dave said.

"Believe me when I say, he didn't want to come. We met at the Christmas Ball and after Danny found out how close we were, he has wanted to get to know John. The reason is unknown to me. He invited John up and basically went out of his way to make sure John didn't have an excuse to come."

"I'm sure he could come up with one."

"You Oswalds are a stubborn lot." John commented.

"Leave. I don't want you in my house."

John looked at Clara. "Hopefully the taxi is still outside."

"Maybe." Clara turned to her dad. "I know you don't believe me. But it wasn't his fault. Everything that happened when I was 18 was my fault. I don't understand why you still can see that."

A weird silence fell over them. In that one moment, Clara had confirmed to Linda that something had happened between her and John and that her dad blamed John for it. There was also the death glare that her dad was giving John, definitely not taking in a word she just said.

"Is everything okay?" Danny asked, making most of the room jump.

"Is the taxi still there?" Clara asked, knowing that it would be unlikely.

"No, I paid him after I got all our stuff out. Why?"

"Don't worry. I still know where the bus stop is." John said.

"That will take ages." Clara said.

"No it doesn't."

"What's going on?" Danny asked.

John turned to him. "I shouldn't have come."

"Look, why don't you lot make yourselves at home." Linda said. "I think me and Dave just need a little chat."

Clara looked at Linda and, for once, hoped that she could talk her dad around.

* * *

"Looks no different to how I remember it." John said when he entered her room.

Somehow, Clara would love to know how, Linda had managed to convince her dad that John should stay. It was the first, and probably only time, she liked her.

"Well, I left for uni not too long after you left."

"I suppose."

She waited for him to close the door before she pushed him up against it and kissed him.

"We have to be careful." He told her.

"I know but I have wanted to do that all day."

"Dave wants a reason for me to leave and I am sure this isn't the way that Danny should find out."

"Whatever happens, I don't want Danny to find out. It would probably kill him."

"Or he might try and kill me."

"Maybe" Clara said, putting her arms around him and placing her head on his chest.

He walked her back so that if someone wished to enter, they could. He wrapped his arms around her and placed his chin on the top of her head.

"This was how it always was, wasn't it?" She asked.

"Yes it was. My little Clara."

"I am not little."

"In terms of size, you cannot deny that you are small. Small and roundish, with a good personality, which is the main thing."

She smiled. "You are glad that you are you. If anyone else said that, they would have got a punch."

"I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me."

"I am sure there are some times when you wished you were someone else."

"Sometimes."

"Now, how is Linda's cooking? Ellie was fantastic. That is something I miss. Her cooking."

"I just miss her."

"I know you do." He placed a kiss into her hair.

"She's alright. She can cook but she can't bake as well. So don't be expecting pudding."

"Pudding was always the best part."

"You and your sweet tooth." She giggled. "I still don't understand how you are as thin as you are though."

"The training we have to do is quite intense. The weight I put on when I am off tour falls off me again when I go back on tour."

"Lucky you have got the job you do have."

"Yeah I would be the size of a house if I didn't."

The door opened and John turned to see who it was, to let Clara go when he saw Dave in the doorway. Dave glared at John and all three of them was reminded of what happened about ten years ago.

"Just come to tell you that dinner is ready." He said sharply.

"Dad, it was just a hug."

"Still. Do you not a have a shred of dignity?"

"Dad." Clara said.

"Yes, can't I hug someone that I thought of as the closet thing I had to a niece? Or because of what happened, am I not allowed within three foot of her?" John made his point but stepping away from her, what he roughly thought was three feet.

"No funny business. The pair of you." He sternly said before he left them.

"Be more careful?" Clara said.

"Yep, we have to be more careful. I think he might be on to us."


	13. Old Times

_Thanks for the reviews._

 _John's back in Blackpool. What could possibly go wrong?_

* * *

 **Old Times**

There was just something nice about walking downstairs and entering the kitchen to find John standing there. Clara could have just stood in the doorway forever, watching him as he made breakfast. The smell of the bacon hit her and she could feel her stomach doing flips. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass.

"Morning. Sleep well?" John said when he saw her.

"Well enough."

"Are you alright? You look a little pale."

She sipped on her glass of water, hoping that it would make her feel better. "No keep feeling like I am going to be sick. Haven't been yet, which is good."

"So you won't want any breakfast?"

"I don't know whether I will be able to keep it down."

"You know what it is? It being around those kids for so long. They are living, breathing Petri dishes."

Clara laughed. "They are teenagers. I think that only applies to young children."

"I think teenagers are worse for that sort of things."

He moved the frying pan off the hob and walked over to her, opening his arms to her. She walked into them.

"Are you sure you want to get this close to me?" She said.

"I have had worse than some stomach bug and survived." He placed a kiss into her hair. "I am sure you will feel better later. Maybe you should go back to bed for a little longer."

"That might be best."

They jumped apart when someone cleared their throat at the door, just to turn and to see Dave standing there. John went back to the breakfast, mumbling under his breath is he allow to comfort her any more and that Dave was just being an idiot. Clara bit her lip to try and stop herself from laughing.

"Are you okay, Clara? You look a little pale."

"I think it is just a bug. Hopefully it will pass. I am going to go back to bed for a bit."

"Good idea. I will send up a cup of tea later."

Clara smiled at them both before she left the kitchen.

* * *

Clara was not up to having people around. She didn't know whether they were there because her dad had invited them round or they just turned up because they heard that John was back. The only thing that made her smile was the fact that everyone seemed to have missed him.

"John." She said to come, waving her hand from him to come with him.

He smiled at her but it dropped when she grabbed his arm and started to pull him up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Short answer is no."

"Are you still feeling sick?"

"Yes and no."

"Clara what is it?"

"When I went back to bed this morning, I met Linda on my way. She mentioned that I looked pale and I told her as I told you and my dad that I felt sick and that it was probably a bug. Linda joked that she hoped that I wasn't pregnant."

"Okay. Why are you telling me this?"

"You know I said I went out just to get so fresh air? I went into town and brought a pregnancy test. Linda had put the idea in my head and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I just did it to try to … I don't know, just to put it out of my mind. Clear my mind of that thought."

John raised his eyebrow at her.

"I am pregnant and I have no idea who the father could be." She said as quickly as she could.

He sat down on the bed as the weight of what she just told him hit him. He looked up at her.

"Okay."

"Can you stop saying okay? It's not okay." She shouted at him

He stood back up and pulled her towards him. She automatically wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head into his chest. He could feel her body start to shake and the tears soaking his shirt.

"I keep say okay because it is okay. It is not ideal but when has anything been ideal?"

"What should I do?"

It was a very good question. What should she do?

"The first thing you can't do is panic over it. I know that either is sounds obvious or difficult and it will take a while to get used to the idea but you can't panic over it. Secondly, you need to go and tell Danny about it. Even if he isn't the father, everyone will think he is the father and, like me, he does have a right to know. Just not that he might not be the father."

Clara huffed. "Anything else?"

"You need to make a decision over it. You know that I will support you whatever you do. I am sure Danny will be the same." He chuckled. "I remember you talking about having children when you were younger. You were always good with kids."

"I feel like I am going to mess everything up."

John pulled back and got her to look up at him. "What do you mean you're going to mess everything up?"

"I know you said that you would never leave me again but what happens if it is Danny's child? Are you going to stay around while I have this family with Danny? Then what happens if it is your child? I would be able to hide that fact that it was you but I wouldn't be able to hide the fact that I cheated on him." She rested her head back against his chest. "It will make me make my choice and I don't want to lose either of you."

"Clara ..." He started before he sighed.

She looked back up at him. "I can't lose you. Not again."

She was scared. She wasn't terrified because of the baby. She was terrified about the choices she would have to make to make a family for this child.

He didn't know how to comfort her. He was never the best when it came to comforting people. He just used to pat them on the shoulder before leaving for them to get on with it. He wanted to comfort Clara.

He bent down and kissed her. She returned the kiss, bringing her arms up around his neck. He was sure that things would work themselves out. He just wondered how long it would take them.


	14. Not Again

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Not Again**

Clara broke the kiss. She played with the hair at the back of his neck.

"Can I go back to bed and start over?" She asked.

John chuckled. "I don't think that will change that fact that you are pregnant."

She sighed. "No but, maybe things will seem clearer. I don't know."

"If anything you are 28, isn't this the sort of time that people start settling down and having children?"

"Yes but, I would prefer to be married. Or at least know who I am actually with. I am going to have to make a choice now."

"Hey, let's not think about that. Everything is going to be fine." John tried to reassure her.

Clara rose up to give him another kiss. There was just something about him that made her believe his words. She knew that she could always believe in him. She wanted to lie on the bed, pulling him down on top of her. She just wanted to be in his embrace for a while longer. She didn't want to go back to the others yet. It was just her and John and for that moment, it felt like they were the only ones there.

"Everything will not be fine."

They both jumped apart and turned to the door to see Dave standing there. Clara was taken back straight back to what happened when she was 18.

Something had happened, something she couldn't remember now, and she had another attempt on trying to see whether John felt the same as her. He had been alone, her dad had gone out, again the reason had escaped her. John had been slightly drunk for whatever reason and had actually kissed her back when she had kissed him. She relished in it. She could remember the way that his lips felt on hers and the way his hands and arms held her body close to his.

Again she pulled him towards her room and that was the beginning of the problem that arose. Even though John had stopped her from going through with having sex with him, when Dave caught them in her bed in the morning, it looked extremely suspicious, even though both of them were reasonably dressed. Dave had accused John of taking advantage of his daughter and told him to get out and to never come back. Clara could remember her telling her dad that John hadn't done anything and then begging John not to leave.

"What is going on?" Dave asked.

"Dad, close the door and I will explain everything." She said, stepping in front of John.

Dave looked between them and she was surprised when he did as she asked but already knew what he was going to say.

"You're cheating on Danny. With him!" He pointed at John.

"Technically ..." Clara started.

John cleared his throat behind her.

"Technically?" Dave said.

"Technically, I have been going out with John for longer than I have Danny. If anything, I am cheating on John with Danny." Clara turned to John. "Still doesn't make it sound any better."

The tension in the room started to build. He could see that Clara was starting to get uncomfortable in the silence, waiting for her dad to say something. John wished that he could do something to make her feel more comfortable. She had just had this bombshell of finding out she was pregnant, now she had to contend with her dad's anger towards him. John cleared his throat again.

"Maybe I should go." He said, starting to walk towards the door. "Leave you two to talk."

John stopped when Dave spoke.

"You have to tell Danny what has been happening."

Clara shook her head. "I can't tell him. It would kill him. I never want him knowing."

"He has a right to know." Dave paused. "And you have to make a decision over who you want. Christ Clara, you have been going out with Danny for over two years now. Your whole relationship has been a lie."

Her dad was angry with her and he had ever right to be. She had made a right mess of the relationship that she had with Danny. It was the reason she couldn't allow him to know. Like her dad had said, their whole relationship had basically been a lie. But it still didn't make her decision any easier.

"I have been trying and I know it might sound like I don't but … I love them both. No I am not girlfriend of the year but I do love Danny and that what makes this all so complicated. And now ..." She stopped herself.

John placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned and looked at him. She had gotten herself into one big mess.

"And now, I am pregnant." She said.

Dave groaned. "Why do I think that sentence could be ended with you don't know who the father is?"

"Because it should end with it. I haven't gone back through the dates yet and … I know you would love me to say that it would probably be more likely to be Danny's but there is probably an equal chance of John being the father."

Dave turned to John and he took a step back.

"Dad. I know it isn't what you want to hear."

Dave leant against the wall and sighed. She was glad that it seemed like he was thinking over what she had said.

"I want to be happy for you. I really do. But this is a mess. Danny deserves to know what has been happening."

"I know he does but … I wouldn't know where to begin to tell him. Believe me, I knew how messed up everything was when John was introduced to me basically as Danny's commander. My lover is my boyfriend's officer."

"Which was probably karma for me not taking the promotion I was given." John commented.

Dave ignored John. "Clara, you need to make a decision and you need to make the right one."

"Dad, every time I try to make a decision, I change who I am going to choose. As I have said I love them both and I don't want to lose them both. I know as soon as I will make my decision, the man behind me will leave me again. Either because I chose Danny or because I should have chosen Danny. With the latter one, I will end up losing both of them."

"Maybe you should have thought about that. He leaves now," Dave said before making a move to leave.

Clara caught his arm. "Look you are trying to make it like you still hate John but admit it, you have enjoyed him being here. Please don't ruin it now."

"He leaves and you make your choice. Danny needs to know. About the affair and the child."

"I was going to tell him about me being pregnant."

"Tell him about the affair or I will." Dave said before he pulled his arm from his daughter's grip and left them.


	15. Him

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _You know when you write a chapter and then when you revisit it, you want to bash your head against a wall because it is just one of those chapters that you question what you were thinking. This is one of them for me._

* * *

 **Him**

"Let him calm down. I doubt that he will tell Danny straight away." John said.

"What if he does?" Clara sighed as she sat down on the bed. "Oh my stars, this couldn't get any worse."

"Which means it could only get better." He sat down next to her. "I think we should go back. Everyone will probably be wondering where we are. Plus you need time to think over a few things. There is no point worry about it at the moment."

"Danny should still know though."

"Unfortunately that is the only thing that needs to be done now."

Clara wiped her cheeks to stop the tears in their tracks. She stood up and looking in the mirror before replacing some of the makeup that had disappeared. She turned back to John.

"Come on, we better get back." She said giving him a smile.

He knew the smile. She had given it to him many times when they had chatted about her choice. It was something that she had probably never expected to make so soon. Something that she was sure she would finally work out.

She was right about one thing. John knew that he was kidding himself by being with her. Danny could give her everything she would want and need. He couldn't.

He stood up and cupped her face before giving her a kiss.

"Everything will work itself out eventually."

"I'm sure it will. I just don't know whether I will like the outcome or not."

He smiled at her before they left her bedroom to rejoin the rest of them. Danny went straight to Clara when she entered the room.

"Where have you been? One minute you were here, the next you had gone." He kissed her cheek. "You aren't still feeling ill are you?"

She could see her dad standing behind Danny. She couldn't tell him about John. She just couldn't.

"Is it okay if I could have a word?"

"Okay."

Clara grabbed his hand. "Not here."

"Could I just do something first?" Danny asked.

Her mind started to race about what he might want to do. She batted away the though he was going to propose. If she had expected him to propose, she was expecting a whole night planned to the letter, not in her childhood home.

"Clara, I asked you what you would say if I said that I wanted to leave the army and you gave me the right answer. I didn't see it at the time but you did. I do love my job and even if it does take me away from you, I wouldn't want to do anything else." He dropped down onto one knee. "You are right. I will always come back when I have you to come back to. So, will you marry me?" He opened the box that he had been playing with in his hands, showing her the ring that he had brought for her.

Clara wanted to spin around. She wanted to see the look on John's face. It was meant to be her decision and here Danny was, making it for her. This was it, time to make her choice. Did she accept his proposal?

The shock of finding out she was pregnant joined the shock of Danny proposing.

* * *

John had already made his decision before he had even left the room. The child was more likely to be Danny's. There was no point of him hanging around. He was going to wait until Clara was talking to Danny and then he was going to go and pack his bags before leaving. Clara was right about one thing, whatever her decision, he would leave her again.

Danny proposing had been a shock to him but he hoped that Clara said yes. Danny could give Clara what she wanted and needed.

He turned away from the living room and made his way towards his room. He grabbed his bag and started to pack. Part of him was waiting for Clara to fly into the room, telling him that he could leave her, as she had done once before.

He hoped to be gone before she could even process what was happening. He would go back to keeping his distance. If Clara was clever, as she was, and she says yes, she didn't need him hanging around, reminding her what she could have had.

There was also the point that he wasn't welcome here any more. He knew that something would happen and Dave would tell him to leave. For Clara's sake, he hoped that Dave wouldn't be stupid and tell Danny about them.

* * *

"Clara?" Danny asked.

Clara was trying to calm herself down. She was panicking but trying not to let it show. She was having to make her decision. This was the decision she was trying to make over the last two years. This wasn't fair.

She opened her mouth before she closed it again. Her eyes flicked from Danny to her dad. She didn't particularly know why. He had just told her that he would tell Danny about her relationship with John if she didn't tell him. Her dad nodded at her.

Maybe he wouldn't say anything if she said yes to him. She told herself off. That was no reason to say yes to Danny. She needed to say yes to him if he was the one that she wanted.

Her mouth spoke before her brain had time to catch up with it. "Yes."

Danny smiled widely up at her before he took the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger. He stood up and kissed her and Clara tried to match his happiness.

* * *

"You are doing the right thing." Dave said as he entered the room.

"You probably think that this is the most decent thing I have done." John said. "If you are here to gloat because she has said yes to Danny, I can save you the trouble. I have always known that she would chose him in the end."

"I think they are talking now."

"She won't tell him. She is right. If she tells him, she will lose both of us."

Dave cleared his throat. "She is right about a lot of things. John … I don't like you because of what you have been to my daughter."

"Understandable."

"But you and her were always close. Don't lose that over a few stupid mistakes."

John watched Dave as he left him. Even thought he was right, there was no chance that he could just stand to one side and watch her live her life with another man. He had always been protective of her and it was the first time that she kissed him that he saw her in a different light. He could lie to himself and wish that that first kiss never happened. But it had happened and he had fallen for her. He picked up his bag and threw it over his shoulder. He looked back at the room that had always been his for one last time before closing the door behind him.


	16. John?

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _So has she chosen Danny?_

* * *

 **John?**

Clara just happened to see him standing outside. She wondered what he was doing out there for a second until she saw his bag sitting there. She made her way towards the door, smiling at everyone that told her congratulations. They just didn't know how much she had to celebrate.

It was until they were standing side by side that she realised what he was going to do.

"You're not leaving me."

"I know when I am not welcomed."

"John, don't leave me again. I need you more than ever."

John turned to her and looked down at her hand. "No, that is the person you need. You have made the right choice."

She lifted up her hand to look at the ring. "Is it? I don't just yet. I haven't really had the time to think over it."

"He will be able to give you and the child everything you will need and want."

"Don't say it." She told him.

"Our relationship should never have happened in the first place or lasted as long as I has done."

"John."

"I am being serious Clara. I am not saying it because I have been told to."

"Just don't leave me."

He opened his arms up to her and she entered them. She brought him as close to her as she could before raising up on her tiptoes.

"I love you John. I really do. I have always loved you." She whispered to him.

He couldn't bring himself to say it back to her. This was it for them and their relationship. He couldn't be saying something like that to her, even if he did feel the same. He would have to be the stronger one between them. The one that could throw away everything that they had.

He kissed her cheek. "We can keep in touch."

"We will keep in touch." She said. "I have told you that you aren't leaving me."

"Do you Oswald's have to be this stubborn?"

"Yes."

He pulled back and lift his hand up to wipe her cheeks. "Well, five foot one and crying. I don't stand a chance do I?"

She found herself smiling. She could always smile at the things that he would say.

They only let go when the taxi pulled up and asked for John Smith. He let her go and placed his bag into the taxi. She held onto the door just to be with him for a little longer. She felt like she was losing him all over again.

He kissed her forehead. "I don't regret it and it was fun while it lasted but we were both kidding ourselves if we thought that this was going to last after you started dating Danny."

She stood back and allowed him to close the door. She stepped back and waved him off, wondering when the next time she would see him. She felt her dad's arms around her before she had processed that he was there.

"Danny should still know."

"I have already lost one of them. I can't lost Danny now. I need him more than ever."

"I hope you haven't lost him again. I told him not to be stupid."

"That's John's middle name or is it idiot."

Dave laughed with her. "I still don't like it."

"I doubt you would. Your daughter and your best friend."

"You can't tell me that you were happy to go between them. You would have had to make a decision. The longer you left it, the worse it would have been."

"I know. It was just a tough decision to make."

"He didn't think so." Dave said. "Come on. Let's get back inside. It is cold out here."

Her dad let her go and made his way back into the house. Clara stood out there for a little while longer, looking in the direction that John left in.

* * *

"Where's the Doctor?" Danny asked later. "I haven't seen him since this morning."

Clara looked confused for a while before remembering that John was the Doctor. "He had a call and was requested back to London." She lied.

"Did he say what it was about?"

"He said it was classified. Probably about the next time you go on tour."

"I hope it's not soon." He said as he laid down next to her in bed. "I would hate to miss anything. We would have to make sure that you have a scan before I go."

Clara just smiled.

"What's up?" He asked.

"I … Just today has been a bit of a whirlwind. It started with me feeling sick and Linda making a joke to finding out that I am pregnant and now I am engaged to the sweetest guy I know. I think I am still in shock. I just need it to all settle in. Get used to the idea of getting married and having a baby."

Danny smiled at her. "I think it is brilliant."

She wished she could have the same enthusiasm as him for all of this. Danny had just seemed to take it in his stride. John's reaction just seemed more real. She could still see the look on his face. The same shock that she felt.

"I know you do. But to me it has been a shock."

"Clara, if you're worried about being a parent ..."

She interrupted him. "Danny, it isn't that. I just … I imagined it to be different. I imagined being married and then getting pregnant. I know it will be fine."

He sat back up and gave her a kiss. "Please share any worries with me. We will get through this together."

Clara sighed. "It has just been a long day. I think getting some sleep will be best."

She laid down on her back and waited for Danny to turn off the light before she rolled over onto her side, her back facing him. She wished John was still there. He would understand her worries. She had thought about texting him but decided against it in the end. He needed time to think over what had happened during the weekend. She would text him Monday when she had also had the chance to think over it. She could only imagine what Danny was going to be like. She wished that she could join in with his enthusiasm. Maybe she would but not just now.


	17. The Baby

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **The Baby**

Part of her hoped that the excitement of their engagement would overtake the excitement of her being pregnant but apparently to Danny, that wasn't the case. He happily told everyone that his fiancée was pregnant. Clara had spoken to him about it but apparently he didn't like to take that much notice.

She was glad that most of the staff had a lesson first thing, it stopped the congratulations that were being throw at her after the words 'I heard you were pregnant'. She sighed into the chair after the staff room had emptied.

"You don't seem as happy about being pregnant as Danny does." Adrian said as he joined her.

"There is the small problem of I have no idea who the father is. I mean Danny said wasn't I on the pill while John just knows how forgetful I could be."

"That might just be a small problem."

"And if I have my dates right, there is no definitely way for me to know who the father is before the child is born and then we could do a paternity test."

"So you are keeping it?"

Clara turned to him. "Other than the fact that Danny has told half the population of London, I have always wanted children. Maybe this is a sign that I should just get on with it."

"And the engagement? I guess your still not with John. Have you made your choice?"

"You would think that saying yes to marrying Danny would mean John is out of the question." She smiled. "I don't know. Yes, I think it is over with John but that is only because John thinks it is over. I mean he has always told me that I would be happier with Danny because he could give me everything that I would want and need."

"I'm guessing that you aren't convinced."

"I have known John all my life. He has constantly been in and out of my life but that was due to work. I have had a crush on him since I was 18. I have been going out with him since I was 22. I have loved him for my whole life, whether that was as an uncle or romantically. It is hard to let him go so easily. I miss him."

"You better pick who you want and fast. If you feel like that, then I don't think you should have said yes to Danny."

"Don't you think I know that." Clara added sadly.

She knew that it was wrong of her to say yes to Danny but part of her wanted to say yes while the other part of her felt like she was forced to say yes. Danny would be the perfect husband and father. He was just so caring and she knew that he would do anything for her.

But Danny was a safe choice. He was the right but safe choice. Clara didn't know whether she could do safe.

* * *

She tapped her phone against the desk. She knew what she had to do and what she had to say but she was nervous about saying it. She had no idea why thought. It was only John.

Clara sighed before she got up his number. Her thumb hovered over it for a moment before she pressed on it and brought her phone to her ear. The ringing tone did nothing to calm her nerves. As it rang, she thought that he wasn't going to pick up. She went to hang up when his voice rang out.

" _Hello"_

"John, I thought you weren't going to pick up."

" _Could hear it ringing but couldn't find where it was. Luckily got it before the last ring."_ John paused. _"How are you?"_

"Slowly getting over all the shock of the past week."

" _Are you still panicking?"_

"Not as much as I was. I just wished Danny wouldn't tell everyone that I was pregnant. I still need time just to get used to it all."

" _He is just excited. You can't mock the man for his enthusiasm."_

"John …" She could feel herself losing her nerve. "Talking about the baby. We … I … The date of the first scan." She said, unable to find the right words.

" _Come on Clara, you're an English teacher. I am sure you can find better words than that."_

She sighed. Maybe he wasn't choosing for her. Maybe if she asked him, he would be there.

"We have the date of the first scan but Danny is away on a training course. I wondered if you were away on the same course." She paused. "I want someone with me, maybe just to tell me that this is all happening. If you are free, I would love it if you could make it."

" _What is the date?"_

Clara allowed herself to smile. "22nd February, 4:00pm."

" _Don't worry, someone will be there."_ He said before he hung up.

She didn't like the 'someone will be there' part. She hoped that he would come. John would really help to ground her. She didn't know how much more of Danny's excitement she could take before she actually punched him.

* * *

Clara kept looking down the corridor as she waited for someone to turn up, whether it was John or Danny, she was still unsure. She had text the hospital to John and had waited outside for him to turn up. The skin around her thumb was definitely not going to survive this. She tried to stop herself whenever she went to do it.

She turned and looked at the nurse when her name was called. She could tell that a few of her was looking at her when it was Miss Oswald. She couldn't really understand why they were so judgemental. She just wanted to show them all the engagement ring that was on her finger. It was so far the only time she did.

"Clara."

She turned to see Danny jogging up the corridor just before she entered the room. He came up to her and gave her a kiss.

"Sorry I'm late. My train was delayed."

The nurse ushered them into the room and while she was getting everything set up, Clara took her opportunity and turned to Danny.

"I thought you couldn't get out of the training course."

"I know I said I couldn't but the Doctor turned around to me this morning and told me I had somewhere more important do be. He handed me a train ticket and told me I better get going. So I did. I wasn't going to miss this."

She tried to smile as widely as she could at him but she knew that it wasn't as wide as his. John was choosing for her and she didn't know how she was going to make him see otherwise.


	18. Kicks

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Kicks**

There was a lot to plan for. With the baby on the way, both Clara and Danny had expressed their concerns about whether their flat was big enough. They had started to look at different flats within the area and their price range but were struggling to find anything any bigger than they already had. Danny had said that he could dip into another savings account that he had but Clara didn't want him to do that. She was sure they could make do with what they had.

Plus they had the wedding to plan for. Clara had expressed that she didn't wish to be pregnant at her wedding which allowed them to push the date back further than she was sure that Danny would have liked. If anything, it just gave her more time to get used to the idea that she was going to be Mrs Danny Pink.

Her dad and Linda had come down from Blackpool to go through some plans with them. Her dad had offered to pay some towards the wedding but Clara felt quite reluctant to take the money. She knew it was tradition for the father of the bride to pay but she just felt bad. It wasn't like her dad was the richest man in the world. It would have a hit on his finances and she couldn't allow him to remortgage the house again.

"Have you seen John?" Dave asked when he joined Clara in the kitchen.

She couldn't help but laugh. "Did it take just a day for you to forgive him after 10 years?"

"Clara."

"I haven't seen him since he left yours. Danny had a training session on the date of the first scan. It was right in the middle of it. We both thought that he wouldn't be able to make it. I rang John just so I would have some with me. He let Danny have the day off. I think he is trying to make my choice for me."

"Didn't you make your choice when you said yes to marry Danny?"

"Can't I feel like I still have a choice because I don't know who the father is?"

"Danny is the right choice." Dave said as he picked up two of the teas.

Clara stood in the kitchen for a while longer. Maybe the reason she felt like she still had a choice was because the idea of marry Danny didn't totally sit with her. She was sure that she could marry him and be happy for the rest of her life. She just didn't want to look back 20 years down the line and regret that decision.

She picked up the remaining teas and joined them in the living room. She handed Danny his tea before sitting down next to them.

"How far are you along now?" Linda asked.

"16 weeks, thereabout."

"It's exciting, isn't it?"

Clara just smiled at her. She was used to the idea of her being pregnant now. There were times when she would remember halfway through the class and just ended up smiling to herself. She could see herself as a mother.

She gasped. Danny turned to her, worry all over. Clara just grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach, watching his face for the moment. She smiled when he started laughing.

"My students are going to think I am even weirder now if I smile every time that happens."

"He is a mover." He commented.

"Or she." She added.

"Or she." He confirmed.

* * *

It was a couple of weeks later that they went for the second scan. Clara was constantly feeling the baby move inside her. As she thought, her students thought she was weird when she stopped mid-sentence whenever it would happen. She had forgotten herself sometimes and would grab Adrian's hand so that someone could join her in her joy.

"I am obligated to tell you that if you want to know the sex of the baby, today would be that day. Do you want to know?"

"Yes." Danny said while Clara said. "No."

He turned to her.

"I know I don't particularly like surprises but I am quite excited to for the surprise of this. I mean, they were a surprise to being with. Why not make them a total and utter surprise?"

Danny smile at her. "No it's fine. I don't want to know if you don't."

Clara only watched the scan for a little while before she turned to look at the expression on Danny's face. It was one of wonder and excitement. She tried to think whether John's face would be the same. Whether he would sit by her side and hold her hand.

She really missed John. There were times when she wished that it was John by her side, making all the decisions she had to, rather than Danny. It was Danny's indecisive nature that just made it infuriating. All the 'Whatever you want darling' was his way in trying to be romantic but it was starting to wear thin. There was a time when she thought it was sweet but she couldn't understand why she couldn't see it that way any more.

* * *

She asked for another set of photos than she had before. Danny had asked her why and she had told him that her dad mentioned that he wanted one.

They weren't for her dad, they were for John. He needed to see the child that could be his. She needed to speak to him. She needed him. She hadn't seen him for nearly three months and she thought she was going insane by it.

She knew what she would do. She would call him and ask him round for coffee or go to a cafe or something like that. If he didn't answer her calls or texts or didn't turn up or said that he was busy, then she would go to his flat or the barracks to see if she could find him there.

All Clara knew was that she had to see him again soon and he needed to see the child growing inside of her.


	19. Pictures

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Pictures**

John had done exactly what she thought that he would. He had come up with every excuse under the sun when he finally returned her calls. She was calling him at least three times a day for the last couple of weeks.

Danny had gone to go and spend sometime with his family, so she took the opportunity to take the sonogram photos to John. She had called ahead and was told that he was at the barracks. She didn't care if she had to march up to him and push them into his hands. She was not leaving with them.

And he talked about her family being stubborn.

She waited for a moment for him to stop talking to who he was talking to. She took an interest in the posters that were on the wall, but always kept looking out of the corner of her eye to see if he was finished. John turned from her when he had finished and started to make his way down the hallway in the opposite direction.

"John." She said, calling out to him.

She caught up to him when he slowly turned around to her. She suspected that he didn't expect her to come to him if he didn't go to her.

"Clara, what are you doing here? Should you have travelled this distance?"

"If you stopped using stupid excuses and actually came to see me, I wouldn't be here now." She held out the photos. "I wanted to see you to give you these."

John looked from her to the photos. "I don't need them."

"Yes you do. You should have them." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "You still have as much chance of being the father as Danny does."

He reluctantly took the photos off her and looked down at them. She watched as his face changed. The wonder, which she had expected, shone through.

"I've missed you." She said.

Whatever trance that John was in, he snapped out of it with those words. He handed back to the photos, making sure she took them back before walking off without another word.

"I know what you are doing." Clara shouted after him, making him stop. "I don't want you to. I don't want you to leave my life again."

She wanted to say more but didn't believe that it was the place. She followed as he started walking again. She watched him as he sighed down into the chair in his office. She took one of the other chairs.

In that moment, she had a chance to study him. He was a lot skinnier than she remembered him last and she knew that he did have bouts of insomnia but he looked exhausted. She had seen him at his lowest and he looked like he had hit it again.

"John, I still believe that I have a choice. Even though I have said yes to marry Danny, I still have a choice. We both don't need to be miserable because of the mess that I have caused. I need you John. I want you by my side. Either as this child's father or their uncle. You know I have always relied on you. The time when I need you most, and you haven't been there. Please John, come back to me." She placed the photos on his desk and slid them towards him.

Clara was taken by surprise when he suddenly stood up and pulled her out of her chair. He bent down and kissed her, something she was happy to do back. She pulled him as close to her as she could. He rested his forehead on hers when they parted.

"I've missed you too." He whispered.

In that moment, the baby must have agreed with him, because they kicked. John looked surprised as he felt it on his stomach before smiling.

"They are a little mover." He said.

Clara grabbed his hands and placed them on her stomach.

"Doesn't it hurt? I mean I felt that."

"Not as much as you would expect. It mainly just takes me by surprise. My students all think I am crazy because I keep smiling to myself or just stop mid-sentence because of him or her."

"Him or her? I would have thought you would have wanted to know the gender."

"I told Danny that because they were a surprise, we might as well keep it all a surprise. Anyway, in this day in age, why assign them a gender now?"

"I suppose." He said. "How far are you along now?"

"22 weeks." She paused. "Look I know how much of a mess that this is and I know that I have been stupid because this has occurred. But it has happened and we need to make the best of it. No it isn't ideal. No this isn't how I wanted things but then nothing about our relationship has been ideal or how things should be. As I have said, I need you John."

He started to nod. "I'm glad you kept it. I feared that you wouldn't."

"As I told Adrian, even if Danny hadn't told half of London, I would keep it. You're right. People start settling down at my age and it is my fault that I couldn't chose between you two to be able to settle down properly."

"I didn't want to see you again because I didn't trust myself. Clara, I can't stand to one side and watch you marry another man and raise his children. That is just the selfish part of me. But I will stop choosing for you. I will try my best to be by your side."

Clara pulled him closer to her into a hug. She never realised that he thought that way. She just thought that he thought Danny was a better choice because he was more his age. She didn't realise that John couldn't be around her without being with her.

She was glad that he was going to be back in their lives. She was glad that he wasn't going to leave her again.

And maybe she had just made her decision.


	20. Motherhood

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _Okay so, I want to get this story finished before I take a break from fandom related stuff so I can concentrate on my exams. The only way I can do this is if I start posting daily. So you will be seeing more of this story over the next few days._

* * *

 **Motherhood**

Clara smiled up at John as he entered the living room. He had been around most days since she had given him the photos, except when they went on tour. She was thankful for it. The warm summer had irritated her to no end. She just couldn't seem to stay cool but John's company had helped. While they were on tour, she had gone to Blackpool, hoping that there would be cooler than London.

"Not teaching teach." He said as he gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"No, maturity leave. I would have thought I would enjoy it but there is only some much you can do."

"Didn't you tell them that you can still teach?"

"Oh, I was very stubborn about it." She sighed. "Anyway I don't think my feet would put up with it."

"Tea John?" Danny shouted from the kitchen.

"Yes please." John shouted back before sitting on the coffee table in front of Clara."Come one give them here."

She lifted her right foot up to him and closed her eyes as he started to massage them, hitting a few sore points.

"Not hurting is it?" He asked.

"No, it just feels good."

"Have you set a date for the wedding?"

Clara opened her eyes. She knew that he was just asking out of curiosity and just plain courtesy.

"We are just seeing when you will be next on tour. Danny says that it could be just after Christmas. But we have agreed that it will be six weeks after you lot get back. There is quite a few people that both Danny and myself want there."

John nodded at her while giving her a sad smile. The only problem was, she knew how he was feeling. She was making wedding plans with a man that she had decided she didn't want to marry any more. She felt like she had made her decision. And it was John. She just didn't know how to tell Danny or her dad.

Danny joined them as Clara lifted up her left foot for John. He handed her a cup of tea and she gently sipped at it.

"You know you are working wonders on my feet." She told John.

He laughed. "You know what, your mother said exactly the same thing when she was pregnant with you. She would moan that Dave could never get the right spots and just tell him to stop and allow me to work my magic."

"Danny can't get the right spot either."

"Hey, you said that the last one I gave you was good." He said, sounding a little hurt.

She turned to him and smiled. "You have got better. I will give you that."

* * *

To be honest, John had panicked when he got the call from Danny telling him that Clara had gone into labour. He had told Danny that he would go and get Dave, using one of the cars that the army had put him on the insurance of. He had never driven so fast to Blackpool.

Once Dave had realised what was happening, they jumped in the car and drove back just as quick. John allowed them to run ahead as he paid for the parking. He only needed a few hours before he took the car back to the barracks.

As he walked through the hospital, the weight of what was happening hit him. Clara was or had given birth to a child that might be his.

He made his leg keep him up and to keep walking but his whole body wanted to tell him to stop. This was big. This could be his child and he could be a father. It was something that he had never expected to happen. Not this late in life.

John stopped at the door and looked in the room to see Clara sitting on the bed, looking exhausted, with Dave looking over her shoulder at the bundle in her arms. Danny and Linda were off to one side chatting. He just couldn't find the strength to step into the room.

* * *

Clara was quite glad that she had just over an hour to recuperate from the labour. She had wanted John by her side and was slightly upset when Danny had told her that he had gone to go and get her dad. Although she wasn't complaining now.

Her dad was actually a refreshing sight and she was glad when he sat next to her, looking at his grandson. She lent into him for the strength she just couldn't muster at that moment.

"He's beautiful Clara." He turned to her. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." She said, leaning into him more when he placed her arm around her. "Where's John?"

"Paying for the parking. He should be here soon." He paused. "Maybe we should leave you. It has been a long night."

"You're telling me." She joked.

Her dad smiled at her before kissing her forehead. As much as she would have loved John by her side, she was glad that he had gone and got her dad. Plus she didn't know how she would have had to explain why she wanted John as well as Danny.

She saw John standing by the door once her dad had managed to get Danny out. She smiled at him before beckoning him closer and patting the space next to her. She watched him as he hesitantly walked towards her and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Well you should get a look at your son." She told him.

"We would have to get a paternity test to make sure of that."

"I still don't know whether I want one or not."

"Can I hold him?" He asked her, turning to her.

Clara smiled at him before handing him over to John. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"You know, I think motherhood suits you. Like it did your mother." He told her. "Everything happens for a reason."

"I suppose it does."

* * *

Dave stood by the door after John walked into the room. Part of him wondered why he didn't join them straight away by was more surprised by what he saw. He may hate John for it but he couldn't deny any more.

Clara was totally in love with John.


	21. On Tour

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **On Tour**

Clara bounced around as she tried to stop her son from crying while also trying to help Danny pack. All she wanted to do was get him to sleep so that she might just have a few moments of sleep as well. She envied Danny for going back on tour, telling him why couldn't he have paternity leave, even though it was only two weeks.

It took them a few weeks to name him Alec. There were many suggestion floating about as to what he should be called. She had to protest hard for him not to be called Orson, as Danny wanted. She kept telling him that he would have the mick taken out of him because Orson just sounds like our son.

John hadn't been any help either. She had tried to include him in any conversation that they had about the name, even going as far as texting him to come up with names. His were better than what Danny wanted but they both absolutely loved Alec when she mentioned it. She never realised how hard it was to name a child while being a teacher. Some names she had been put off just because a child with that name had been a right pain in the backside to teach.

The only other problem that she had was that Danny had insisted on being with her when she had to go and register Alec's birth. She had read online that she could register without putting a father down and then re-register when she had worked out who the father was. At this point in time, Danny was put down as the father.

Clara left their bedroom and moved to the living room. Alec was 3 months old but was still troublesome to get down. She knew that it would easily take another half an hour just to settle him down. His crying was starting to make her cry. She just wanted to know what was wrong.

"Clara have you seen ..." Danny started.

"Danny, any clothes you need are in the drawers as I washed everything I could two days ago. If it isn't washed then that is your fault. I told you to give me everything. All the toilettes you need will be in the bathroom. If it was anything we brought the other day, then it is still by the door where you left it as I told you yesterday so you could put it away." She snapped at him.

He stood there a little sheepishly while Alec calmed down slightly.

"Sorry, I just want him to stop crying and sleep so I can sleep. I am exhausted Danny. I can't be helping you and sorting him out."

She turned back to Alec, turning totally away from Danny.

* * *

"And I thought you look exhausted after the birth. Christ, what is the little guy doing to you?" John said as he joined Clara.

She was watching Danny talk to his comrades, while having Alec in his arms.

"I never thought I could be this exhausted." She leant against him. "I could have really done with you these past couple of days. It has been like having two children in the flat. I don't think I have snapped as many times as I have over the past few days."

"Don't worry, I will bring him home."

Clara allowed a few moments of silence between them. "I've made my choice." She whispered.

"No don't."

"Maybe I should have known it from the start."

"Clara." John said.

She sat up and looked at him. "You. It has always been you and I was so blind to think that I ever wanted anything else. Yes, I do love Danny but not the way I love you. I just don't know how to tell him."

"Oh Clara." He said, bringing her into a hug.

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to hold him tight. She didn't want him to go. She wanted him to come back to her flat with her and lie down on the bed. She wanted him to hold her in his arms as she attempted to get some sleep.

She felt him place a kiss on her forehead. "I am sure you will find the words. You are an English teacher after all."

Clara found herself laughing. She pulled herself back up and wipe her eyes.

"Please say you have someone to help you." John said.

"Dad's coming down. So all I will hopefully have to put up with is Linda."

He chuckled. "Is she really as bad as you make her out to be?"

"Maybe not, but she just came at the wrong time and just seemed to be looking down her nose at me."

"I think she does that with everyone."

Clara stood up as Danny approached and took Alec off of him.

"Have you asked him yet?" Danny asked.

"Asked me what?" John replied.

"Whether you would be Alec's godfather?"

"Danny." Clara said.

"What?"

She looked up at him. "We were only making suggestions. I don't particularly think we have the money or really the time to be having a wedding and a christening."

"Well more unofficially. You said it yourself, there isn't a better man out there and one that you know would look after him if the terrible did happen."

Clara opened her mouth to argue more but John got in first.

"I would be honoured. The only problem is, I am your commander. If something happens to you, it may happen to me as well. I suppose something to discuss when we get back."

"Of course." Danny said.

"Anyway, we had better get going. Make sure everything in line. Shall we Sergeant Pink?"

"Yes sir." He said before kissing Clara. "I will call you."

"Well if I don't pick up, I will hopefully be sleeping." She said.

She thought it was bad that all she could think about was sleep. There were times when she wished she was asleep in John's arms. Those were the worst thoughts. They gave her a little too much hope.

John smiled at her after Danny left before kissing her cheek. She turned last minute and made her kiss land on the corner of his mouth.

"I will find the words." She told him.

"As I said, I am sure you would." He turned to Alec. "Now look after your mother. She needs looking after."

Alec looked up at him and only smiled when John did. Clara rested her head against her son's as she watched them go.


	22. Called In

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _I apologise now for this chapter._

* * *

 **Called In**

Her dad was a lifesaver. Clara would even go as far as to say that Linda was a lifesaver. They had managed to get Alec into some routine, something she had been unable to do beforehand. Danny just wouldn't stick to what she had told him to do. There were times when her dad would just let her do her own thing and leave her to it. But then there were other times when Alec would wake up in the night and her dad was there, telling her to go back to sleep before she had even got out of bed.

She just needed a little bit of help and she had that.

It allowed her to relax a bit. She had definitely not felt like she did before John and Danny went on tour and she did feel slightly guilty for that. It wasn't Danny's fault that Alec wouldn't settle down or go to sleep. She felt like her frustration towards him may have just been because she didn't want to be with him any more.

"Clara, I've been meaning to ask you." Her dad started before tailing off.

"Is this about my choice." She said.

"Have you made it? Just it isn't fair on Alec."

The young boy looked up at his grandfather at the mention of his name.

"What choice?" Linda asked as she joined them.

Clara looked at her father before turning to Linda.

"I have … been dating John and Danny at the same time. I was technically dating John before you kept going on about Danny and I have spent the last nearly three years trying to work out which one of them I have wanted."

"Wait, were those rumours true then? Why Dave kicked him out?"

"Yes and no." Clara added before her dad could say anything. "Dad thought that John had slept with me but he hadn't. Believe me, I tried many times."

"Oh my, this isn't going to be like those soaps when you tell me next that you don't know who Alec's father is." Linda looked at both of them. "Is it?"

"That is the worst part of it." Clara stated.

"Now I really have heard it all."

"Have you made your choice?" Her dad asked.

"I have. I just need to find the right way to tell Danny."

If Linda didn't look shocked before, she was now.

"John! You have chosen John. I find you a lovely young man and you choose John." Linda screeched before sitting back against the sofa. "I suppose I could see the appeal."

"How long have you know that you would choose John?"

"I suppose there were many factors. I could tell John that I was pregnant with ease. The reaction he gave me was one that I expected because I had experienced it myself. I just felt so awkward telling Danny and he just felt so right with the idea of it all. And then there were the scans. Danny just was always like an excited puppy, whereas John looked at the photos, studying them. I will never forget the look of wonder on his face. I just stopped seeing Danny's little things as sweet and seeing them as annoying. I don't know whether it was just because I was pregnant. He hasn't really seemed to do anything right since. Maybe that was just because I had made my choice and was trying to push him away."

"You know I will never be happy with it. He was my best friend." He told her.

"I know."

"But maybe I knew that you were going to choose John. I saw you two at the hospital when Alec was born. Maybe I was just too blind in the past to see that you did love him and that he loved you."

"But then it would be like Alec falling in love with one of my friends. The idea isn't too pleasant."

Her dad chuckled. "Now you know how it feels."

Clara stood up as the phone rung. She skipped over to the phone, wondering if it was John calling her. She picked it up.

"Hello." She said happily.

" _Is this Miss Clara Oswald?"_ The man on the other end said sternly.

"Yes."

"We request your presence at the barracks. A car will be with you soon as to reduce your travel expense." He said before he hung up.

Clara just looked worriedly at the phone before she put it back.

* * *

Every scenario had going through her mind at one point during her journey from her flat to the barracks and they were still flying through her mind as she sat in the chair, opposite one of the officers. She resisted the urge to bit the skin around her thumb.

"Miss Oswald, we regrettable inform you that while on tour, Lieutenant-Colonel John Smith and his patrol was caught under enemy fire. While on their way to the refugee camp, one of the cars was hit by a roadside bomb and were attacked while they were trying to help those who were injured. We have just had the reports about what happened so we can tell the relevant family members, so more details will be released later.

"Lieutenant-Colonel John Smith is currently missing, presumed dead. We understand from the information that we have that it is very unlikely that anyone would have survived the gunfire that the Lieutenant-Colonel put himself under to save his patrol."

Clara just felt her whole world coming crashing down around her. Missing, presumed dead. She could feel the tears running down her face and she didn't even want to stop them. Those three words kept repeating themselves in her mind.

"Why am I being told this?" She asked, really quite unsure.

"Lieutenant-Colonel Smith put you down as his next of kin when he changed his residency from Blackpool to London. Please allow me to be the first to offer you my condolences."

She watched him as he moved a few papers around.

He gave her a small smile. "Believe me when I say that this isn't easy. It never is giving bad news. Sergeant Danny Pink has also put you down as next of kin. I am also obligated to tell you of his state."

Clara closed her eyes. "Go on then."

"He has been badly injured in the blast. He was pulled from the vehicle and was brought to safety. He is currently being operated on as we speak. We can't discuss what injuries he has but I can tell you now, he isn't going to be the same man."

 _And then it will probably be too late._ She had said to Adrian.

It was too late. The man she really wanted to be with was dead and her other choice wouldn't be the same man that she had loved. The tears blinded her vision. She couldn't see the man in front of her.

"Have you finished?" She spat.

"Yes, would you like me to call someone for you?"

She wiped her eyes angrily. "No. I will see myself out as well thank you."

She stood up and left the room, closing the door a little hard that she should have done. As she walked through the barracks, she knew that she shouldn't have been angry with the man that told her. He was only doing his job. She stood at the entrance of the barracks, a little lost at what she should do or where she should go. She knew she should go home to Alec but she could face looking at him. There was only one place she could go and she really hope that he was home.


	23. Comfort

_Thank you for the reviews._

* * *

 **Comfort**

Her feet moved by themselves. She just felt so numb. Missing, presumed dead still was the only words she could hear. She was trying not to cry but the tears just fell on their own accord. She should have made her decision sooner. She should have known that it was John that she wanted. She shouldn't have allowed Danny to think that they were going to be something. She should have put a stop to it as soon as she could.

It took her a while to work out where she was taking herself to but was actually glad when she arrived. She knew that she had thought about coming here but she didn't believe that it was the right place to go. She should be at home.

The door opened before she had even knocked on it.

"Clara, is everything okay?"

She looked up at Matt. Matt was the comrade that John shared the flat with and he had always known about their relationship. He even allowed her to come round when she started to miss John. He had always been a good friend to them. She knew she could always talk to him.

"No." She said.

The moment he opened his arms to her, she knew that it was exactly where she needed to be. She couldn't deal with her dad fussing over her. She just needed someone that would listen to her and maybe feel the same way as her. She cried into his chest.

It took her a while to calm down but she was grateful for Matt pulling her into the flat and sitting her down on the sofa before making her a cup of tea. She took a sip of it.

"This is how John has his tea." She said, trying not to set herself off again.

"You look like you have had a shook. It might do you some good." He paused. "How's Alec?"

"Sleeping better now. My dad is down and has helped me out a lot over the last few weeks."

"Good. That's good. I have been meaning to pop round. If anything I hoped that you would bring him around here to see John. I am sure I will see the little fellow some day."

She knew that he was only trying to cheer her up with chat about her son but every time she heard John's name, she could feel her heart breaking even more.

"I am sure you will."

"Clara, what's up?"

"I couldn't go home."

"And that's why you are here."

"Danny has been injured and John is …" She looked up to try and stop herself from crying. "John is missing, presumed dead."

Matt's face dropped before he took her tea off her and pulled her into a hug.

"I think you need something a little stronger than tea." He commented.

She gave him a small laugh. "I had made my decision between them. Maybe it is the only good thing. John knew I was going to chose him."

He placed a kiss into her hair. She wanted to pull him closer to her. She just wanted something that might just bring her back down to earth. She felt like she was in a bad dream. She wanted to wake up.

"You can stay as long as you want. Does your dad know?" Matt asked

"No."

"Call him. He needs to know where you are. You can always explain more later."

* * *

As soon as she entered his room, she had picked up John's holey jumper and put it on. Clara brought the collar up to her nose and just took in the smell of him. She wasn't going to take it off. She might even take it home with her, only bringing it back when it didn't smell like him any more and picking up another.

She lied on his bed and got one of the pillows, hugging it close to herself.

She started to think about all the nights that they made love, both of them breathlessly calling out the other's name. She thought about the mornings that she would wake up and feel his arms around her, keeping her close to him. She thought about the times when she would watch him sleep, listening to his soft snores. She thought of the mornings that he would try to pull her back into bed when she told him that she had to go.

They were now all memories. It was never going to happen again.

 _Missing, presumed dead._

She should have made her choice sooner. She should have seen who she wanted sooner.

John was gone. Out of her life for good now. She couldn't really find the words to describe what she felt. Empty would probably be a good place to start.

She had slightly worked out what she was going to say to Danny. She was still going to allow him to believe that he was Alec's father, or maybe he would want a paternity test after finding out. She knew that she was going to tell him that she was sorry for letting their relationship to last so long and for what was happening last so long.

The only thing now, she didn't have to say that. Danny was the only choice that she had.

She buried her nose into John's pillow.

Clara knew what she had to do now. She had to do everything in her power to make sure that Danny never finds out about her relationship with John and the question over Alec's father.

They would make a go for it. They would have to. She just hoped that everything that John thought about Danny was right. That he was right for her.

Matt knocked gently on the door before he opened it. He gave her a sad smile.

"He would say that you were malfunctioning. John never understood the reason of a sad smile." She said.

He chuckled. "Your dad called back. I have told him what has happened and where you are. I told him that you would be home soon. Was the right to say?"

"I know I need to go home."

"You can still come any time. I am away on a training course for a few weeks beginning next week but I can drop round my key if you want."

"Please." She said.

Clara managed to push herself up into a sitting position. She felt drained and now she would have to go back to her son who would have no idea what was happening. She rolled up the sleeves of the jumper.

"I had better get going." She told him but making no impression of leaving.

"It does get better. I promise you."

She knew that he was being genuine but his words just felt empty to her. She managed to find the strength to stand up and leave, giving him a small smile as she left John's bedroom.


	24. Finding Out

_Thank you for the reviews._

 _This is the penultimate chapter of this story._

* * *

 **Finding Out**

No, Danny wasn't the same man. To begin with, he wouldn't let Clara see him. It was only from his doctor that she knew the extent of his injuries. He had lost his right leg due to the blast and was now suffering from PTSD.

She wanted to help him. She researched into PTSD as much as she could, making some adjustments as so he felt safer. She moved all the furniture so that he could see all the exits. She wanted him to come back home.

If was a relief when he did finally allow her to see him. She told him that they didn't have to jump into anything quickly. They could hold off the wedding until he felt more up to it. She told him that she would help him to adjust. They would just need time and it was what they had. Only once he asked what had happened to John and she only had to give him a sad smile for him to understand.

She took time off work when he finally came home. He told her that she didn't have to but she wanted to. He had to adjust back into civilian life. He was no longer going to be part of the army.

The nightmares were the worst. He would just wake up, screaming. Clara would constantly have to remind him that he wasn't there any more. She would hold him until he stopped crying. She hated how it had made him a shadow of the man he was.

The nights when Danny could not sleep were better. They would just sit up all night, talking. Clara would tell him how much Alec had changed and what he had done when Danny was away. The little smiles that he gave her, gave her hope that things could get better.

There were groups that the army had to help people, like Danny, adjust back into civilian life. When the leaflets came, she heavily encouraged him to go. She argued that these people would understand what he went through better than she ever would. It would give him a chance to talk with like minded people about it.

The group did seem to help and Clara could soon see the Danny that she had fallen in love with once more. He spoke about the training courses that they could help him get on and how he might go and do a teaching course. She just told him to go for it. If it was what he wanted to do then he should go for it.

It didn't take him long to gain the relevant qualifications that he needed and soon he had filled a vacancy at Coal Hill.

* * *

"Clara?"

"Yep."

"Come here."

She put down the essay she was reading through before pushing herself out of her seat and joining them in the living room. She smiled as she watched Alec looking up at Danny, smiling.

"Do you not think that Alec's skin tone … would be in between ours?"

If she was being honest with herself, it was something that had crossed her mind as well.

"Maybe once he gets out in the sun a bit more, it will show itself." She said, knowing that it sounded weak.

"I would have though it would have been pretty instant."

* * *

They hadn't really had a big argument before. There were the little ones over little things but nothing big. But this was going to be big.

"Have you been having an affair?" Danny asked her.

Clara wanted to argue that she hadn't but just couldn't find the right words to explain it.

"Wait, is Alec even my son? Clara? Tell me."

"I don't know." She ended up shouting, feeling relief from finally telling him.

The distort look on Danny's face told her everything that she needed to know. The look reminded her why she never wanted him to find out about what had happened between her and John.

"That's why you didn't want me to come to register Alec's birth with you. Because you have been having an affair and you didn't know who the father was. What did you expect me not to notice or did you just hope that I was the father?"

"I don't know but it's over now. It wasn't fair on you."

"Who was it then?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I want to know." Danny shouted. "Is that why to told me that I would never leave the army? So you could keep up you little thing. They were someone to keep you company while I was away. Did you really get that lonely?"

She wanted to argue. She could have told him the truth. She could have thought of a number of things to say but she didn't say them. This is what her stupidity got her.

"Did you sleep with him in our bed?"

"No." She said. "Please can we stop this. I know I was wrong and stupid but please. I can't lose you as well not now."

Danny just huffed before walking away from her.

* * *

It had been a weird week. After their argument, Danny requested that a paternity test was done. They got a kit and sent it off. They were now just awaiting the results of it.

Danny had basically stopped talking to her, only speaking to her when it was absolutely necessary. Everyone had noticed the breakdown of their relationship and Clara felt isolated. The only person that really understood was her dad.

Clara opened the door to see her dad standing on the other side. She hugged him tightly.

"You must be a mind reader. I really need you today." She said.

"Have the results arrived?"

"We were just about to open them before you knocked." She let him go before allowing him to step into her flat.

"How much does he know?" Her dad muttered.

"Enough. I won't give him John's name."

Her dad nodded at her. He smiled as he entered the living room to see his grandson sitting in the middle of the room.

"Now you are getting bigger and bigger every time I see you." He said as he picked Alec up.

"Dave, what are you doing here?" Danny asked as he entered the living room.

"I heard you were having some problems. I thought I would be the calming influence."

"So you knew."

Dave turned to his daughter. "Not for long or who but I knew something was going on."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought she had sorted something out when she agreed to marry you. Unfortunately this little man came before that."

Danny held out the envelope to Clara. "Do you want to do it or shall I?"

She took it off of him before ripping it open. She really didn't know what she wanted the result to be. Did she want Danny to be his father or John?

Clara took a deep breath before she pulled the letter out and started to read it.

"No." She said.

"No?"

She looked up at Danny. "I am so sorry Danny."

Danny took the letter off of her and read it before he threw it back at her. He didn't even look at her as he stormed passed her and left the flat. She closed her eyes as the door slammed.

"Alec is John's, if you didn't already get that." She said.

Her dad sighed before pulling her into a hug.

She didn't know how to take that news. Was she meant to be happy that the father of her son was the man that she wanted to be with?


	25. Homecoming

_Thank for the reviews and all of the support with this chapter._

 _Sorry I haven't posted yet today. Been to Wales Comic Con and met Greg and Fady. I was so nervous and I was little shaking after speaking to him. They are so nice so if you get a chance to meet them, take it with both hands._

 _Reply to Snow: Maybe not stormed passed her per say but quickly walked passed her. Not that I have done the research into it, but I would expect that he would be very likely to get a prosthetic._

 _Taking a break due to exams. I will be back with two new stories, Hunted and Dear Doctor, on 9th and 14th May._

* * *

 **Homecoming**

Life hadn't really been the same since.

Danny had broken off their engagement and had started to look for his own flat. Clara was sure that if he was still in the army, he would have been living at the barracks. Except he wasn't and they were both living separate lives in one tiny flat.

Everyday started to feel the same for Clara. She would get up and make herself some breakfast before sorting out Alec. By that time Danny would have joined them in the kitchen to make his breakfast. She would always offer him a lift to work on her motorbike, which he would always decline. Clara would take Alec to the childminder in their block of flats, telling her that she would be back by four for him. Then she would go to work, teach before picking Alec up and returning home. She would do a little bit of marking while Alec had a nap before cooking dinner and having some downtime with him. Danny would usually walk through the door about seven after staying at work to do his marking. She would always ask him if he had a good day, to which he would huff at her before walking into the spare room.

She knew it was her fault that things were the way that they were but it just made her wish that John was still out there, alive somehow.

* * *

Every step made him take in a sharp breath but he didn't need any more medical attention that they were trying to throw at him. It was healing. It would take time to heal. They definitely wouldn't recommend what he was doing now but he had to do it.

John slowly made his way into Coal Hill, dropping his rucksack as he reached reception, grateful for something to lean on to take the weight off his leg. He looked down at himself and realised that he probably should have gone home to get changed before coming but he had to see her, even if she had married Pink.

"May I help you?" The woman said.

"Is Clara available? I'm an old friend and I was in the area and I need to see her."

She typed on her keyboard. "Umm, not at the moment unfortunately, Miss Oswald is teaching at the moment."

He let out a sigh of relief. She hadn't got married. He smiled widely. He would have thought that they would have, her thinking that she only had one choice now.

"No way."

John turned to see Adrian standing there.

"Adrian."

"You've come home." He said in amazement.

"I have told Clara that I always bounce back. I'm guessing she didn't believe it this time."

"She was told that you were missing, presumed dead."

"I need to see her."

Adrian nodded. "I will see what I can do."

* * *

Clara had always loved teaching but she was finding it boring. The students reading in the same tone, maybe mumbling because they don't actually want to read out loud. She knew that she was only finding it boring because her life now seemed to hit a dead end but she couldn't find the strength to try and make it exciting.

She was slightly relieved by the knock on the door and Adrian's head popping in.

"Is it okay if I had a word?" He said.

"Carry on reading." She said as she got up and walked over to the door.

She didn't miss Adrian gesturing to the students to come over.

"What do you want?"

"I don't want anything but he does." He said, nodding his head over her shoulder.

Clara could fill her heart start to race. The smile that Adrian gave her meant that he knew what she was thinking. She slowly turned around to see John standing at the other end of the corridor. She exhaled sharply.

She could still remember all the times when he used to come home when she was younger. He would always catch the train and a bus to surprise them and he would always try and make it so that it was when she was on the way home from school.

As the memory of her seven years old self came back to her, she felt herself copying her movements. She started to run towards him. John opened his arms up for her. In her memory he also crouched down, throwing his bag to one side.

She could always remember the feeling of running into him before he spun her around. She would shout his name and tell him that she was glad that he was home. She had never been so happy to see him.

Clara reached John in real time and jumped into his arms. She felt him take a few steps back, regaining his balance. His arms were tight around her and she buried her nose into the crook of his neck.

"Oh, Clara. My Clara."

"I thought you were dead."

"You won't get rid of me that easily."

For the first time in months, she found something to laugh about. There was something good that had happened.

She felt him gently place her back on the floor. She leant back to see him smiling down at her. She was lost in the moment of it all when she pulled him down to kiss him. The man that she wanted to be with was alive and well and with her. It was like someone had answered her after the months of heartbreak.

"Him?"

* * *

John sat on one of the tables while Clara was stood next to him, biting the skin around her thumb.

"Danny?" She said when she couldn't take the silence any longer.

"You were having an affair with the Doctor."

"That's why my dad was angry at him. I have always had this crush on him and I was trying to see whether he felt the same. I tried to get him to have sex with me but he didn't. My dad just thought we had."

"How long?"

John was actually worried about what Clara was going to say. From the way that the conversation was going, it seemed like they weren't going to be together any longer if they were even together in the first place.

"We started dating … when I was 22." She said.

"Our whole relationship has been a lie."

"Danny."

"Clara, don't even bother. If you were sorry, you would have told me on the first date or told me before that. You definitely wouldn't wait till you were engaged and had a child, which is not theirs."

John looked at Danny. Did he just insinuate that Alec wasn't his?

"I am sorry." Clara said before Danny stormed out

* * *

 _4 years later_

Clara sighed as she dropped her bags down by the door and leant against it for a few moments. She had just got home from the craziness of work to the craziness of her home. She could hear John and Alec from the kitchen.

Her eye caught the photo on the table. She picked it up and smiled as she looked at it. Their wedding day may have only been two years ago but it was one of the happiest days of her life, joint with learning that John wasn't dead.

She placed it back down before she walked down the corridor to join her family.

"Mummy." Alec said, running towards her.

She smiled and picked the boy up as he reached her.

"Look, I got all my spellings right. I got a gold star. Look."

Clara took the piece of paper off of him and looked at him. She turned back to him beaming.

"Well done Alec." She kissed his cheek. "If I was you I would go and put it somewhere safe so you can show Granddad when he comes down at the weekend."

Alec took the paper off her and ran to his room when she put him down.

She watched him before walking over to her husband and hugging him from behind as he made dinner.

"Good day?" He asked.

"Yeah." She said.

John had decided to leave the army after he got back. He told Clara how he was lucky to escape with his life and was grateful for the refugees that had saved his life but he knew what he wanted. He wouldn't always bounce back and he was scared about leaving her. He was now a stay-at-home dad, at the beck and call of their two children.

She rose up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. "How have they been?"

"Well Alec has been like he was high on sugar because of his gold star. Grace hasn't been so bad. I took her to the park today so she is napping now because I wore her out. Not her brother though."

Clara giggled. "Sounds like someone else I know." She sighed. "Better get on with some marking before dinner. Hopefully Alec doesn't decide to help again."

"Didn't your students like the pink felt tip and smiley faces?"

"Some of them did. Some of them thought it was hilarious. Some of them sat there stressing because he hadn't really helped at all. I had to sit with ten of them to explain that my son had said that he wanted to be like me and I didn't realise what he was then going to do."

John chuckled. "I suppose it was a bit of a laugh."

She left him go before heading off to do as she said. She was surprised when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him.

"I think I will give you this now." He said, giving her a present. "Happy anniversary."

She smiled up at him before rising up and kissing him. "Thank you."

It may have been a rather roundabout way but she was with the man that she wanted to be with and have the family that she wanted. Life was good and she hoped that it would remain that way.


End file.
